Alice's Document Comic Strips - Page 13
240 Results for Alice's Document
View 121 - 130 results for alice's document comic strips. Discover the best "Alice's Document" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share June 22, 1996's comic on:
Wally says to Dilbert, "The only employee suggestions that get accepted are the ones that are harmless and stupid." They sit down at a conference table and Wally continues, "I submitted some harmless and stupid ideas to test my theory." The Boss sits at his desk and reads a document that says, "Suggestion: Replace all #2 pencils with #4 pencils. The hard lead lasts longer yet costs the same." The Boss thinks, "That could work."
Share June 24, 1996's comic on:
Alice hands the Boss a document and says, "Here's a draft of my new objectives. I tried to make them achievable." The Boss reads, "No matter how stupid my co-workers are, I will not punch a hole in anyone's torso, rip out a vital organ and keep it in my cubicle as a warning to others." Outside the Boss's office, Wally says to Dilbert, "I hope she gets those objectives approved." Inside the office, Alice yells, "Yes! It's measurable!"
Share June 28, 1996's comic on:
The Boss and Dogbert sit at a table. Dogbert shows the Boss a document and says, "Here's my final plan for the company's day care facility." Dogbert continues, "I call it free range day care. The children are allowed to roam free among the cubicles. It's very economical." Two small children stand in Wally's cubicle. The boy says, "I don't believe he's really an evil troll." The girl says, "Look at the 'Powerpoint' slides he's making. It's not human."
Share September 13, 1996's comic on:
The Boss reads a document and tells Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "The company announced that we will 'abandon our strategy of making good products . . .'" The Boss continues, "From now on we'll 'pursue a desperate strategy of mergers, business spin-offs, fruitless partnerships and random reorganizations.'" The Boss reads, "And we'll accelerate our program of paying the good employees to leave." Dilbert asks Wally, "Stock price?" Wally looks at his monitor and replies, "Up three points."
Share December 11, 1996's comic on:
The Boss hands Tina the Tech Writer a document and says, "Your first draft was boring, so I added a bunch of exclamation points." Tina reads the document and says, "Wow! Those exclamation points make this technical document come alive!" The Boss thinks, "This might be that sarcasm thing I keep hearing about." Tina hugs the document and cries, "I'm in the presence of genius! I beg you to father my children!"
Share December 18, 1996's comic on:
Ratbert stands on Alice's desk and says, "I don't know much about computers so I compensate by being highly exuberant." Ratbert shouts, "Yes!! Yes!! Computers!! Wahoo!!!" Ratbert looks at the monitor and says, "Hey look! It's not my fault; it's some guy named 'general protection.'" Alice reaches for Ratbert and says, "It's time for your flying lessons."
Share January 17, 1997's comic on:
The Boss hands Tina the Tech Writer a document. He says, "Here's you annual performance review, Tina." The Boss continues, "I focused on your performance for the past two weeks because I don't remember anything farther back." Tina screams, "I was on VACATION for the past two weeks!!!" The Boss replies, "No time to chat. I need to spread some motivation over here."
Share January 29, 1997's comic on:
Dilbert hands the Boss a document and says, "As you requested, here is a schedule of all future unplanned network outages." Dilbert continues, "I took the initiative to include a schedule of all future sick days, volcanic eruptions, earthquakes and hurricanes." Dilbert says, "This is the point when you realize how stupid your request was and we have a good laugh." The Boss reads the document and looks shocked. He asks, "Does CNN know about this?"
Share March 11, 1997's comic on:
Asok stands behind Alice's desk and says, "I am young and inexperienced, so please excuse this naive question, Alice . . ." Asok continues, "You spend hours every day 'doing e-mail.' How does this contribute to net after-tax earnings?" Asok stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "Today I learned that Alice can stuff my entire body into one shirt sleeve."
Share March 24, 1997's comic on:
The Boss stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "I studied your technical recommendation and decided it's impossible." Dilbert replies, "I already did it." The Boss says, "It will never work." Dilbert replies, "It's working perfectly." The Boss points to the document and says, "You spelled this word wrong." Dilbert says, "That's a number."