Class Comic Strips - Page 13
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133 Results for Class
View 121 - 130 results for class comic strips. Discover the best "Class" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday October 10,
2017
Logical Reasons For Learning To Negotiate
Tags negotiating, persuasion, catch-22, argument
Transcript
Dilbert: I can't persuade my boss to let me take a class on how to negotiate. Asok: Try giving him logical reasons. He'll respond to that. Dilbert: And then I would be able to negotiate for a higher salary. Boss: Pass.
Friday October 13,
2017
Being Ineffective
Tags negotiating, haggle, training, conference, skills
Transcript
Boss: Why are we paying so much for this software? Dilbert: Because you didn't let me take a class on negotiating like I asked. Boss: Are you using this as leverage to get approval for the class? Dilbert: No, I'm just being ineffective. Does it look the same?
Sunday December 03,
2017
Tags team, teamwork, team building, death, cover-up, denial, human resources, drowning, rafting, business, medical
Transcript
Boss: As you know, our team-building event did not go smoothly. In my defense, I had no way of knowing a class 6 whitewater adventure would be so bumpy. It took me by surprise when Ted fell in. But I'm proud that we came together as a team and agreed to not look for him. It would have ruined our timing for lunch. Anyway, I'm sure Ted swam to safety. Dilbert: Ted doesn't know how to swim. Boss: All in favor of pretending Ted didn't attend the event? Catbert: They didn't have life vests? Boss: You're thinking of the deluxe package.
Sunday April 01,
2018
Tags training, frustration, wasting time
Transcript
Man: Thank you all for coming to this mandatory class on using the new system. The new system installation is behind schedule, so I'll train you using the old system. Dilbert: we know how to use the old system. Man: I'll point out how the new system is different as we go. Dilbert: Is the new system a lot like the old system? Man: No. Totally different. Dilbert: This is the worst idea I've ever heard. Man: Here are some handouts from the old system's operating guide. Dilbert: This is the Japanese language part of the manual. Man: Are you going to complain about everything?
Saturday July 21,
2018
What Classes To Be An Engineer
Tags intelligence, insult, Advice, logic, engineer, engineering
Transcript
Man: What kinds of classes should I take to become an engineer? Alice: Start by taking whatever kind of class makes you fifty percent smarter. Man: Then what? Alice: Then you won't need to ask me what to do next.
Friday November 23,
2018
Dilbert Teaches The Dumb People
Tags computers, insults, marketing, office workers, sales, teaching, smart
Transcript
Dilbert: My boss asked me to teach a class on coding because it is hard to find programmers in this job market. Are there any smart people in the class or do you all work in marketing and sales? Voice: What's that supposed to mean? Dilbert: Thank you. Is anyone else in sales?
Sunday August 18,
2019
Tina Likes To Hum
Transcript
dilbert: would you please stop humming? it's making me crazy. Tina: i can't focus unless i hum. dilbert: but i can't focus when you do hum. i'm going to talk to your boss. tina: i'm going to talk to your boss! hum, hum, hum. dilbert: gaaa!!! i can't work when she hums. tina: humming helps me work better. boss: i rule in favor of the hummer and i sentence dilbert to take sensitivity training class to be less of a jerk. dilbert: i hate you. tina: hum, hum, hum.
Wednesday October 16,
2019
Slippery Slope
Tags business, managers & supervisors, slippery, slope, approval, database, cosmetic, surgery, insult
Transcript
dilbert: can i take this database class? boss: no, that's a slippery slope. if i approve that class, next you will demand i pay for cosmetic surgery. dilbert: do i look like i need it? boss: only in two places - your face and your body
Thursday June 18,
2020
Dogbert Teaches Safety
Tags office workers, safety, training, simple, corporate
Transcript
Dogbert: Welcome to Dogbert's corporate safety training. Don't touch anything, don't move around, and don't talk to anyone, ever! Thanks for coming. Dilbert: That's the whole class? Dogbert: Don't blame me for being good at summarizing.
Thursday November 26,
2020
Online Class Muted
Tags business, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, technology, online, training, diversity, inclusion, mute, course, confess, idiots
Transcript
boss: my records show you completed the online training for diversity and inclusion. apparently, you did not know we can detect it when you have the sound muted during the entire course. colleague: oops. dilbert: you can do that? Boss: no, but i can trick most of you idiots into confessing.


