Contract Employees Comic Strips - Page 13
618 Results for Contract Employees
View 121 - 130 results for contract employees comic strips. Discover the best "Contract Employees" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share July 15, 2002's comic on:
Catbert says to Tina, "Tina, our records show that you forward an average of nineteen e-mail jokes per week." Catbert continues, "Each joke goes to 30,000 employees, costing us ten million per year in lost productivity." Catbert concludes, "We plan to blame you when we file for bankruptcy next week." Tina is visibly worried.
Share August 05, 2002's comic on:
Catbert is sitting on The Boss' desk. Catbert says to The Boss, "I'm tired of calling the employees 'Resources.' It's too complimentary." Catbert continues, "I'm thinking of something along the lines of livestock or human capital." The Boss responds, "I don't want them demanding hay." Catbert says, "Good point. We'll go with human capital."
Share August 07, 2002's comic on:
Catbert enters Alice's cubicle and says, "Alice, employees are not allowed to eat in cubicles." Alice stuffs the food in her mouth, "Chomp chomp chomp" Catbert exclaims, "I'm going to see that every time I close my eyes!" Alice responds, "You started it."
Share December 12, 2002's comic on:
Dogbert is sitting at a desk. Bob the Dinosaur approaches and says, "The reporter from Moneybags Magazine is here." Dogbert responds, "Send him in." The reporter sits across from Dogbert. Dogbert asks, "Are you planning to ask my employees if my claims are true?" The reporter replies, "Nah, too lazy." Dogbert says, "I credit my success to the foot massages I personally give to each employee." The reporter takes notes and thinks to himself, "Cover story!"
Share February 22, 2003's comic on:
The Boss points to a slide and says, "We'll save money by outsourcing our I.T. function." The Boss continues, "Then we'll save more money by replacing our outsourcing with full-time employees!" Wally responds, "When it's time for us to panic, will there be a warning sound, or was that it?"
Share June 02, 2003's comic on:
Catbert points to a drawing and says to The Boss, "The trap door will work with your 'open door policy' to eliminate whiners." Catbert continues, "Disgruntled employees will be safely dropped into rush hour traffic." The Boss is lying face down in a snowy street. Cars are passing him by. The Boss thinks, "I need to remember that's there."
Share June 06, 2003's comic on:
The Boss addresses a meeting, "Senior management knows they need to retain key employees during hard times." The Boss continues, "That's why they're giving themselves huge retention bonuses." Alice responds, "So, they're blackmailing themselves?" The Boss says, "You can make anything sound bad."
Share October 09, 2003's comic on:
The boss: "The management retreat in Hawaii was productive." "We calculated how many employees we needed to downsize to pay for the trip." Ted: "Don't blame me, Ted. I voted against the third helicopter ride."
Share November 27, 2003's comic on:
The Boss: "I ask all prospective employees this question to test their reasoning." "You have one fox and two chickens that you need to get across a river. You can only take one at a time in the rowboat. The fox will eat the chickens if left alone." "I'd buy livestock insurance, then barbecue the chickens and blame the fox." Boss: "Can you start today?"
Share February 24, 2004's comic on:
Catbert: "According to this report, our employees are afraid to take risks." The Boss: "We can train them to take risks by giving them stretch goals and punishing them for failing!" Catbert: "We did that to raise morale." The Boss: "It stopped all the complaining, didn't it?"