Different Comic Strips - Page 13
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View 121 - 130 results for different comic strips. Discover the best "Different" comics from Dilbert.com.
Boss: I invited a climate scientist to explain the risk of climate change to our company. Man: Human activity is warming the earth and will lead to a global catastrophe. Dilbert: How do scientists know that? Man: It's easy. We start with the basic science of physics and chemistry. Then we measure changes in temperature and CO2 over time. We put that data into dozens of different climate models and ignore the ones that look wrong to us. Then we take that output and run it through long-term economic models of the sort that have never been right. Dilbert: What if I don't trust the economic models? Man: Who hired the science denier?
Randy: I am one of the first humans to have a microchip embedded in my brain. I'm so smart that you "normals" are like livestock to me now. Dilbert: We can't be that different. Randy: My chip translates everything you say to "moo."
Dilbert: The Elbonian virus scrambled our mission statement into nonsense. Alice: No, that's our actual mission statement. Dilbert: Why does it look so different? Alice: The virus fixed the grammar and punctuation.
Ted: Dilbert is a total narcissist, He refuses to admit when he'swrong. Asok: How would the situation look any different to you if he's actually right most of the time and you're too dumb to know it? Ted: I don't understand your point. Asok: According to your that makes me a narcissist.
Wally: My project was failing, so I pivoted to a different idea with the same name. Later, I'll change the project name to cover my tracks. Asok: What about your sunk costs? Wally: Gone like footprints in the sands of time.
Man: Thank you all for coming to this mandatory class on using the new system. The new system installation is behind schedule, so I'll train you using the old system. Dilbert: we know how to use the old system. Man: I'll point out how the new system is different as we go. Dilbert: Is the new system a lot like the old system? Man: No. Totally different. Dilbert: This is the worst idea I've ever heard. Man: Here are some handouts from the old system's operating guide. Dilbert: This is the Japanese language part of the manual. Man: Are you going to complain about everything?
Police Officer: Before I arrest you, I'll need to know your net worth. We have a slightly different process for arresting rich folks. Dogbert: I'm very rich. Police Officer: In that case, I'll wear the handcuffs.
Asok: Every time I ask a successful person for career advice, I get a different answer. Carol: My plan for success is to lull my boss into a fatal accident and take over his identity. Asok: I'm not asking unsuccessful people for advice. Carol: Is that how you talk to your future boss?
Ted: Your plan is dumb because it reminds me of something different that didn't work out. Dilbert: Being reminded of unrelated things is not a form of thinking. Ted: History repeats. Dilbert: Then how does something new ever happen?