Ethics Offcie Comic Strips - Page 13

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

192 Results for Ethics Offcie

View 121 - 130 results for ethics offcie comic strips. Discover the best "Ethics Offcie" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cubicle, #offcie, #meeting, #privacy, #geographically dependant, #benchmark test, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: "Dilbert, come to my office for a minute." Dilbert: "What's in your office?" The boss: "You and I will be there." Dilbert: "If you just want to talk, we can do it right here and save us both some time." The boss: "Maybe we need privacy, did you ever think of that?" Dilbert: "Do we need it?" The Boss: "No, that was just an example. There are many, many reasons why we should talk in my office." Dilbert: "I'll be fascinated to find out what kind of information is geographically dependent." The Boss: "Now, do you have the results from the Benchmark Tests?" Dilbert: "Yup. In my cubicle."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lost id badge, #security offcie, #sneak, #angel with bacon, #looks around

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I lost my ID besiege. Security: Report to the security office and get a new one. Hold it where do you think you're going? Dilbert: To the security office? Security: No one is allowed past this desk with out an ID badge. Dilbert: Okay....how do I go to the security office if I can't go to the security office? Security: Good question. I guess you'll have to steal past me. Dilbert: Look over there! Its an angel and she's giving away free bacon! Security: well well It seems Ive found a worthy adversary.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #clammy offcie, #all clammy, #hands are clammy, #underpants

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss is in his office. He thinks, with a panicked expression on his face, "It's not just my desk; it's the chair, too!" The Boss stops Dilbert in the hallway and says, "Dilbert, come here!" The Boss leads Dilbert into his office and says, "Everything in my office feels clammy." The Boss continues, "I first noticed when I touched my phone.. then my mouse." The Boss says, "All clammy." He pauses and then asks, "What could it mean?" Dilbert responds, "It could mean your hands are clammy." Dilbert walks away whistling. The Boss calls after him, "You must never speak of this." At a meeting, Wally turns to The Boss and asks, "Have you ever noticed that everything you sit on feels like underpants?" Dilbert looks away guiltily.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #etiquette & ethics, #biggest customer, #random drug sample, #awkward

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally, I'd like you to meet the CEO of the company that is our biggest customer. Wally: I'd shake but I have coffee in one hand, my random drug test sample in the other, and I don't want either one to get cold. Hey, I'm not the one who made this awkward.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #eating & drinking, #engineers, #etiquette & ethics, #crone, #etiquette class, #fork, #teach things

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired a desiccated crone to teach an etiquette class to you engineering heathens. She'll help you stop eating your business lunches like kidnap victims. Crone: When do you use this fork? Alice: When I'm too lazy to make a shiv?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #etiquette & ethics, #napkin, #hankerchief, #dinner manners, #crone teaches, #table manners

View Transcript

Transcript

Etiquette Training Crone: The napkin goes in your lap. HONK It's not a handkerchief. Dilbert: It sort of is. Alice: HONK

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #executives, #managers & supervisors, #kill or cannibalize, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Experts say we need to be willing to kill or cannibalize our best businesses. Boss: I can do that. I've been killing our best businesses for years. CEO: That's all the leadership I have for today. Boss: That'll last me.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #efficiency experts, #gloves, #foot in glove

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I'll teach you the best practices of companies that have nothing in common with yours. Those practices will fit your company like a foot in a glove. Boss: Close enough. Dogbert Consults

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #public speaking, #slides tell a story, #status of project, #clown, #broken watch, #eagle, #technology, #old shoe, #storm drain, #pie chart, #dcitionary, #images, #offcie, #cubicle

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Experts say your slides should tell a story in pictures. Start with an image that captures the status of your project. Dilbert: How about this image of a clown with a broken watch? Boss: I was thinking eagle. Dilbert: Fine. Eagle. Boss: Now find an image that shows our technology strategy. Dilbert: How about this image of an old show in a storm drain? Boss: I was thinking pie chart. Dilbert: Fine. Boss: Now for the words. Dilbert: How about this image of a dictionary?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #obliviousness, #million units, #customers happy, #our goals, #their goals, #this quarter

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Our goal is to ship a million units this quarter. Dilbert: Do we have any goals that involve making customers happy? CEO: I'm talking about our goals, not their goals. Boss: Totally different.