Hiring Engineers Comic Strips - Page 13

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

284 Results for Hiring Engineers

View 121 - 130 results for hiring engineers comic strips. Discover the best "Hiring Engineers" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cleaning, #engineers, #coal break room, #highest priority, #mold grow, #mutating bacteria, #rapidly eveolved, #sentient being, #fueled by lunch, #learned languages, #job in hr, #plans on firing, #inappropriate websites

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: You need to clean the break room refrigerator more often. Wally: We're engineers. We only do the highest priority tasks. Tina: Mold started to grow in there. Wally: That's no big deal. Tina: Bacteria caused the mold to mutate. Wally: So what? Tina: It rapidly evolved into a sentient being fueled by forgotten lunches. Then it learned language skills and got a job in Human Resources. It plans to frame you for viewing inappropriate websites at work and then fire you. Wally: This sort of thing usually works itself out.

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #investor meeting, #emailed, #powerpoint slide, #dumbed down, #technical stuff, #non engineers, #it be good, #no questions, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I emailed you the PowerPoint slide for your investor meeting. I dumbed down the technical stuff for you non-engineers. Boss: "Technology: It Be Good." Dilbert: I wouldn't take questions.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #art education, #engineers, #inventions, #humans do cretaive, #robots, #technology work, #liberal arts majors, #origami, #game

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: Someday robots will do all of the technology work and humans will only do creative jobs. If you engineers work hard, someday the spoils will go to the liberal arts majors who partied while you studied. I hear good things about origami. It's not too late to get into that game.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #friendship, #internet & world wide web, #facebook freinds, #speed bumps, #engineers, #pictures of food, #eat food, #google, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: Can I be your friend on Facebook? Dilbert: Friends are like speed bumps for engineers. Tina: How will you see pictures of my food? Dilbert: Do you eat food that Google doesn't know about?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #venture capitalists, #reputation of the angel, #angel investors, #skill of engineers, #huge raise, #big chicken

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you know what venture capitalists care about when they make investment decisions? They care about the reputation of the angel investors who already put money in. DO you know what the angel investors care about? They care about the skill of the engineers. Therefore, you should give me a huge raise or else I'll quit and do my own start -up. BOSS: GO ahead you big chicken. Your going to die poor! HAHAHA!! Dilbert: That was harsh. Boss: and yet you didn't resign . any more questions?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #behind schedule, #obstical, #projects, #sound dumb, #three engineers, #time management skills

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: All of your projects are behind schedule. You need to work on your time management skills. Dilbert:Let me see if I understand you correctly. You expect me to do the job of three engineers... ...and the only obstical to your brilliant plan os my poor time management? Boss: Stop making everything I say sound dumb. Dilbert: I dont do it that often. Because you only sound dumb when people understand what you mean. Boss: And thats too Often! Dilbert: Once a week tops.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineers, #relations between the sexes, #silicon valley startup, #socially awkward, #seen a woman, #four years, #scalable architecture

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We bought a Silicon Valley start-up just to get the engineers. Be gentle with them. They're socially awkward and they haven't seen a woman in four years. Coworker: Who's up for a debate about scalable architecture followed by some spawning.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #competition, #engineers, #not fierce, #sex appeal, #sexiest, #welcome

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: You have been named one of the sexiest engineers in the world. At the risk of sounding unkind, the competition was not fierce. Dilbert: I'm one of the sexiest engineers in the world. Wally: Welcome to the club.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineers, #joking, #practical jokes, #sex appeal, #sexiness, #honor, #practical joke, #evil genius, #cleverly, #concealed, #true identity, #sit on rocks

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I was named one of the sexiest engineers in the world! Dogbert: That honor sounds like a practical joke perpetrated by an evil genius who cleverly concealed his true identity. Dilbert: Nah. Dogbert: And I bet he likes to sit on rocks.

Engineering

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Engineering - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineers, #hiring, #negativity, #personality tests, #resumes, #special algorithms, #personality, #stupidity, #engineering, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: No one looks at resumes anymore. Now we use special algorithms to see where your personality fits in our culture. Man: That process sounds like a steaming pile of stupidity that will beat itself to death in a few years. Catbert: I'll start you in engineering. You'll fit right in.