Life As Intern Comic Strips - Page 13

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View 121 - 130 results for life as intern comic strips. Discover the best "Life As Intern" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #life insurance, #exclusions, #self inflicted wounds, #re existing illness, #criminal acts, #war, #quilting bees

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Dilbert is sitting on the couch at home. Dogbert hands him a pamphlet and says, "Would you like to buy some life insurance?" Dilbert reads the pamphlet, "Exclusions: Self-inflicted wounds, pre-existing illness, criminal acts, war, dangerous sports, smoking..." Headline: Much later that day. Dilbert is still reading, "...And pistol duels resulting from quilting bees." Dogbert replies, "No one reads it, freak!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #corner cubicle, #window control, #mad woman, #giant magnifiying glass, #life support

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Dilbert approaches Wally and says, "Alice moved into the corner cubicle and claimed control over the window shades!" Wally exclaims, "Gaaa!!" Dilbert says, "Our life support systems will be in the hands of a madwoman!" Wally is sweating and panicked. He says, "Maybe she'll be kind." Alice is holding on to a giant magnifying glass that she's attached to her cubicle wall."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work three hours, #quality of life, #gigantic raise, #good time

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Tina: "Would it be okay if I worked three hours a week?" "Any more than three and my quality of life takes a steep dive." "Secondly, is this a good time to talk about a gigantic raise?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #black shoes, #cubicle, #days of our lives, #feel oddly drawn, #life has purpose, #mind altering day

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Who's today's guest cartoonist? Dilbert: This isn't my cubicle. Wally: Your horoscope says you'll have a "Mind altering" day Dilbert: I feel oddly drawn to watch "days of our lives" Wally: You look oddly drawn Dilbert: Im going to go to the mall and try on black shoes! Wally: wow! your life finally has a purpose * Answer: GO TO DILBERT.COM

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #process manager, #process, #poorly manged, #intern, #no process, #voted out of meeting, #annoying

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Wally, Dilbert, the Boss, and others are in a meeting. The Boss introduces the woman next to him to the group. The Boss says, "Patty is our new 'process manager.'" The Boss continues, "Patty doesn't know how to DO anything." He adds, "She only knows how to do things BETTER!" Patty raises a finger, "Process!" Patty says, "For example, this meeting is poorly managed because you have no process." Patty, turning to Asok, continues, "And this intern obviously had no process for deciding whether to attend." The Boss raises his hand. He addresses the group, "Okay, Patty is annoying. All in favor of getting rid of her." The entire group, except for Patty, raises their hands. Asok looks like he's going to strangle her. As they all leave the meeting behind the dejected Patty, Dilbert says to her, "You lasted longer than Timmy the 'Facilitator.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managing by analogies, #dogbert presents, #distribution problem, #eskimos, #gather ice, #lean summer months, #eat penguins, #hibachi, #ban for life

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Title reads: "Dogbert Presents." Dogbert stands in front a sign, reading "Managing by Analogies." He says, "It's easy!" The Boss and Dilbert at a table. The Boss says, "We'll solve our distribution problem the eskimo way." Dilbert responds, "Huh?" The Boss continues, "The eskimos gather ice all winter long." Then, "Later, during the lean summer months, the eskimos eat the ice they stored." The Boss adds, "We'll do the same thing." Dilbert explains, "But... the eskimos would starve if they only ate ice." The Boss says, "Maybe they eat penguins too. They're delicious." The Boss stands and adds, "Did you know the zoo can ban you for life if they catch you using a hibachi?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil director, #human resources, #help balancing, #personal life, #no love, #sound sunhealthy, #pill crybaby, #business

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources. "I need help balancing my career with my personal life." "I recommend a book called "No one will ever love you." It'll crush your hope for a personal life and free up more time for work." "That sounds unhealthy." "Take a pill, crybaby."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #balancing work life, #job anger, #destablizie, #crush urges, #punch something, #will want kids

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Dilbert: I'm having trouble balancing my work life and my personal life. How do you do it? Alice: "I use job anger to destabilize my hormonal blaance and crush any competing urges." "That reminds me I need to punch something today or I'll want to have kids."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #good advice, #balance, #personal life, #zen approach, #no freinds, #no work, #perfect balance, #zen, #faster

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Dilbert: "No one has any good advice on how I can balance my work with my personal life." Wally: "You didn't ask me." "I take the Zen approach of having no friends and doing no work. Hence, perfect balance." Dilbert: "Where did you get that definition of Zen?" wally: "I used to read, but it's faster to make up stuff."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #life coach, #unmotivated, #unorganized, #dolt, #confusing

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"I'm dogbert, your life coach. I'm here because you're an unmotivated, drifting, unorganized dolt." "Life coach? I didn't ask for a life coach." "Which part of the "unmotivated, drifting, unorganized dolt" is confusing you?"