Never Appear Less Valuable Comic Strips - Page 13
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961 Results for Never Appear Less Valuable
View 121 - 130 results for never appear less valuable comic strips. Discover the best "Never Appear Less Valuable" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday June 20,
2002
Tags accounting system, less transparent, investors, bad people, corrupt corporate culture
Transcript
Dilbert, the troll, and Asok are meeting. Dilbert says, "Our assignment is to make our accounting system less transparent." Asok asks, "What?" Dilbert turns to Asok and says, "We don't want investors to know what we're doing." Asok asks, "Are we bad people?" Dilbert responds, "We're good people who have been influenced by a corrupt corporate culture." Asok says, "Oh, okay. Carry on."
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Friday July 05,
2002
Tags improve morale, want drinking enough, coffee meetings, never leave table
Transcript
The Boss says to Wally, "I'm having these coffee meetings to find out how I can improve morale." Wally responds, "My only problem was that I wasn't drinking enough coffee with you. So now I'm good, thanks." Wally continues, "Promise me you'll never leave this table. I can't go back to the way things were."
Thursday August 08,
2002
Tags empty cubicles, frightens customres, adopt cubicle, decorate, appear occupied, phil de cube, imaginary employee
Transcript
The Boss addresses a meeting, "We have too many empty cubicles. It frightens our customers." The Boss continues, "Each of you will adopt an empty cubicle and decorate it to appear occupied." Wally and Dilbert are walking out. Wally says, "My imaginary employee will be a Frenchman named Phil de Cube." Dilbert responds, "Nice."
Saturday November 16,
2002
Tags clear strategy, most profit, do more, less clear, illegal
Transcript
The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "We need a clear strategy. Does anyone have a suggestion?" Dilbert says, "Let's figure out what makes us the most profit, and then do more of it." The Boss responds, "It needs to be less clear than that." Wally asks, "Can it be illegal?"
Tuesday April 08,
2003
Tags Dogbert, head hunter, ceo section, resume, re word, less criminal sounding, more honest, plundered
Transcript
Headline: Dogbert the Headhunter. Dogbert is meeting with a client. He says, "We'll need to reword the CEO section of your resume." Dogbert continues, "For example, there's never a right time to use the word 'plundered.'" Dogbert continues, "And instead of 'suckers ignored our P/E ratio,' say you 'enhanced stockholder value.'" The client replies, "Wow. You're good."
Friday May 23,
2003
Tags plant watering service, less expensive one, plastic plants
Transcript
The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "I fired our plant-watering service and hired a less expensive one." The Boss continues, "That's the sort of leadership that will turn this company around." Wally asks, "Were we doing well?" Dilbert says, "Our plants are plastic."
Monday September 22,
2003
Tags lead odg, view never changes, look at face, imlying, insightful analogy
Transcript
The boss: "Remember, if you're not the lead dog, the view never changes." Carol: "I'm not the lead dog, and I have to look at your face all day. The Boss: "What are you implying?" Carol: "I was admiring your insightful analogy."
Monday October 06,
2003
Tags consulting firm, fixing business strategies, own industry, doing bad, never mention
Transcript
Consultant: My consulting firm specializes in fixing business strategies. Dilbert: Have you ever figured out why your own industry is in the toilet? Consultant: I'll give you a thousand dollars never to mention that again.
Tuesday October 14,
2003
Tags hate people, never allowed shoes, Dogbert, hows my walking, dial, 1800
Transcript
"I plan to make bumper stickers for pedestrians that say, 'How am I walking? Call 1-800 blah, blah, blah.'" "If you call the number and report people, they'll never again be allowed to purchase shoes!" "The best part about hating people is that I never run out of great ideas."
Saturday November 22,
2003
Tags more with less, motivation, communication, more specific
Transcript
The Boss: Our goal is to do more with less. Wally: Less motivation? The Boss: I can't be more specific. wally: Less communication?