Product Comic Strips - Page 13
Search Filters
Year
- 2023
- 2022
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
385 Results for Product
View 121 - 130 results for product comic strips. Discover the best "Product" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday August 30,
2020
Not A Monopoly
Tags managers & supervisors, senior managment, ceo, government, monopoly, product, essential, modern, life, competition, company, compete, buy out, fail, face mask
Transcript
ceo: the government is threatening to regulate us like a monopoly. boss: are we not a monopoly? ceo: we are simply a company that makes an essential product for modern life, and we have no real competition. boss: that sounds like a monopoly. ceo: no, we are not because other companies could compete with us if they wanted. boss: and of they tried? ceo: as soon as they got some traction we'd buy them and shut them down. dilbert: so... they would fail every time. ceo: but they could try.
Sunday December 20,
2020
Wally Makes A Suggestion
Tags business, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, technology, product idea, idea, debunk
Transcript
wally: did you see my brilliant product idea i emailed to you? boss: yes, i already debunked it in my mind. wally: perhaps you could share your reasons. boss: if it's such a great idea. why isn't someone else doing it? and if someone is already doing it, we are far too late. in order for your idea to be good, i would have to think you are smarter than everyone in the industry. and seriously, just look at you. anyone else have an idea? others: nope. nope, never. nope.
Sunday June 13,
2021
Non Disclosure Denied
Tags business, sales, sales personnel, nondisclosure agreement, product, new, waste, refusal, sign, company, vendor, lawyer, idiot
Transcript
salesman: i'll need you to sign a nondisclosure agreement before i can show you our new product. dilbert: you wasted a trip here because i won't be doing that. the fact that you even asked me to sign an nda tells me your company is incompetent. dilbert: i prefer giving my business to a vendor who can show me their product without getting a lawyer involved. salesman: you could sign it without having your lawyer review it. dilbert yelling: do i look like an idiot? salesman holding out nda toward dilbert. dilbert: well? do i? salesman: only form your chin to your forehead area.
Thursday March 24,
2011
Tags competition (psychology), meetings, test script, prodcut
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I spent the week writing a test script for our product." Wally says, "And I wrote a test script to test Dilbert's test script." Wally says, "Your script was almost perfect. Keep up the good work, buddy."
Monday April 11,
2011
Tags fraternization, internet & world wide web, friends with ghoats, real freinds, imaginary ones, idea is ridiculous, ridiculous idea, facebook freinds
Transcript
Dogbert: You need to create a product that gives people the illusion of being friends with ghosts. Boss: People only want real friends, not imaginary ones. Your idea is ridiculous. Dogbert: How many friends do you have on Facebook? Boss: Seven hundred. Why?
Tuesday April 12,
2011
Tags computers & peripherals, fraternization, friends with ghots, ghandi, ghost personal page, ghosts, heaven, internet & world wide web, llincoln, satellite pictures, social media, social network, technology
Transcript
Dogbert: Our new product will be a social network for people who want to be friends with ghosts. We'll post satellite pictures on each ghost's personal page and say the photos were taken from heaven. Man: Abraham Lincoln posted new pictures. Woman: I'm chatting with Gandhi! Later.
Thursday January 13,
2011
Tags anger, engineers, lust, pon farr cycle, irreversible urge, mating season, engineer mating season, spawn, prodcut, unnecessary steps, rarely happens, specifications, vague
Transcript
Tina says, "Did you hear that Dilbert and Alice are on the same Pon Farr cycle?" Carol says, "What?" Tina says, "Every seven years, engineers have an irresistible urge to mate. Their spawn would be the product of two engineers." There's a reason it rarely happens Dilbert says, "Your plan has unnecessary steps!" Alice says, "Your specifications are vague!"
Saturday September 03,
2011
Tags commerce, optimism, patents, patent infringement, google, apple, microsoft, oracle, nasa, astroid, life span of optimist, technology
Transcript
Lawyer: Our newest product infringes patents from Google, Apple, Microsoft, and Oracle. They've joined forces and hired NASA to nudge an asteroid toward our headquarters. Boss: I think we can win this. Lawyer: I wonder what the average life span of an optimist is.
Wednesday September 07,
2011
Tags business ethics, computers & peripherals, software, install and test, database software, engineering
Transcript
Dogbert consults Dogbert: I recommend that you buy the Dogbert database software. Boss: Did I just pay a consultant to recommend his own company's software? Dogbert: I'm totally objective. Boss: Who would install and test it? Dogbert: Maybe a consultant who knows the product?
Wednesday September 14,
2011
Tags correspondence, electronic mail, genius, unfinished product, writing, hallmark of genius, unexpected use of time
Transcript
Boss: You didn't answer my email. Dilbert: I tried to read it but the signal-to-noise ratio was too low. Boss: So it's sort of a technical problem? Dilbert: Okay.


