Security Guard Comic Strips - Page 13

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

133 Results for Security Guard

View 121 - 130 results for security guard comic strips. Discover the best "Security Guard" comics from Dilbert.com.

Drone Defense Kills Birds

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Drone Defense Kills Birds - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #invention, #drone, #national security, #design, #birds, #flying, #collateral damage

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: How's the drone defense shield design coming along? Dilbert: Super. The only risk is that it will kill every bird in the sky on day one. Boss: Don't birds have feet? They can just walk. Dilbert: I'll add that to the slide deck.

View more books now

Drone Defense Has One Problem

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Drone Defense Has One Problem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #drones, #national security, #invention, #technology, #birds, #death, #environmental issues, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We are testing the drone defense shield as I speak. Boss: Is it working so far? Dilbert: Not according to the Audubon Society.

Airport Scanners

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Airport Scanners - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #video, #security camera, #tsa, #air travel

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I heard you appeared naked on Elbonian television. Dilbert: I did? CEO: The only television show in Elbonia is a live feed from their airport full-body scanners. Dilbert: That can't be true. CEO: One of our subsidiaries built the system. Here's you.

Trust The Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Trust The Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #trust, #confidence, #vampire, #dead, #trustworthy

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're not planning any changes, trust me. Dilbert: Trust you? I've seen your browser history. I wouldn't trust you to guard a funeral home. Boss: That's the easiest job ever. Just drive stakes through the hearts of the dead and they'll stay put. Dilbert: To my point.

Tina The Whistleblower

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina The Whistleblower - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company policy, #human resources, #whistleblower, #security, #confidential, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: Is there any kind of whistleblower protection at this company? Boss: Yes, management is protected against whistleblowers like you. Tina: Are you going to fire me? Boss: No, no, no. I'll just make you want to quit.

Elbonians Hackers Get Into Network

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Elbonians Hackers Get Into Network - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hacker, #hacking, #malware, #virus, #infection, #cyber security, #obliviousness, #password

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Elbonian hackers got into our network. We don't know how. Dilbert: Maybe it was the thumb drive you found on the sidewalk in front of our entrance. Alice: Or maybe it was because your password is "password." Boss: How do you know my password?

Human Sensation Slipping Away

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Human Sensation Slipping Away - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #addiction, #humanity, #technology, #existentialism, #existential crisis, #awareness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My sensation of being human is slipping away. My car practically drives itself, and the apps on my phone control my brain. I feel as if I need to do something stupid just to feel alive. Carol: Homeland security?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #surveillance, #spying, #technology, #lying, #caught, #busted, #guilt, #proof

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Why didn't you answer my email? Boss: I didn't get it. Dilbert: My lie-detector app detected stress in your voice. I checked your email history on the server, and it confirms you opened my email. Boss: That could have been a hacker with my password. Dilbert: I'm checking the security camera footage for your office at that time. And there you are opening my email. Now will you admit you got my email? Boss: I'm seriously considering it.

Porch Thief Is Neutralized

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Porch Thief Is Neutralized - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #violence, #retaliation, #delivery, #package, #stealing, #theft, #ring, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Uh-oh. My home security system is showing a thief stealing a package from my front door. Activating particle beam defense. The threat has been neutralized. Dilbert: When you say "neutralized," does that mean... Alice: Activating crime scene cleanup drone.

Tracking Employee Theft

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tracking Employee Theft - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #surveillance, #data, #information, #spying, #privacy

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: Someone stole my purse out of my cubicle. Catbert: No problem. We have security video nearly everywhere and we can track every phone that has our internal company app on it. Carol: That is mildly disturbing. Catbert: Here's a live feed of the perp in the third stall of the men's restroom.