Seven Times Comic Strips - Page 13

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

207 Results for Seven Times

View 121 - 130 results for seven times comic strips. Discover the best "Seven Times" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"I finished all of my projects in one day." "I also reconfigured the network, wrote seven white papers and applied for nine patents." "Are you naked or am I developing X-ray vision?" "Give a thought to decaf."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hired nancy, #lightening, #can't strike, #lighting strike, #invites problems, #medical school, #cadaver

View Transcript

Transcript

I hired Nancy because she's had so many personal problems in the past year. "I figure lightning can't strike the same place more than ten or twelve times in a row." "It's not as if she invites problems." "I'm in love with a medical school cadaver!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boredom, #secretaries (office), #mindless and repetetive, #task, #spur creativity, #creative person, #dispose of body, #snide, #snarky

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Experts say that doing mindless and repetitive tasks is a good way to spur creativity. That means you must be the most creative person in the office. Did you come up with any ideas? Carol: Yup. So far, I've come up with over seven hundred ways to dispose of your body.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #gotcha fees, #airlines, #make moneky, #terrible battery life, #high five

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: You need to have more "gotcha" fees. That's how airlines make their money. For example, you could design your product to have a terrible battery life, then sell extra chargers for ten times your cost. CEO: And maybe the chargers could break after two months. Dogbert: High five!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cruelty, #monsters, #taxes, #taxpayers head explode, #turned on, #head explodes, #taxpayers, #frustration

View Transcript

Transcript

Writing the Tax Code Monster: If we do this right, it will be so complicated that it will make taxpayers' heads explode. Dogbert: Hee! Hee! Man: Multiply line 32 times the opposite of the integral of line 19 unless my pants have pleats and gaaaa!!!! Dogbert: Do you ever feel bad about doing this? Monster: I'd be lying if I said it didn't turn me on just a little.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #woman, #confides, #sad story, #piano fell on head, #dilbert laughs, #killed brother

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: I used to have a brother, but a piano fell on his head. Dilbert: Hee hee!" Dilbert: Sometimes I laugh at the wrong times.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accurate numbers, #more useful, #studies showed, #make up stats

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I didn't have any accurate numbers so I just made up this one."Dilbert says, "Studies have shown that accurate numbers aren't any more useful than the ones we make up."The Boss says, "How many studies showed that?" Dilbert says, "Eighty-seven."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bleed people, #living and dead, #awkward

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Wally, in the past month you've blamed your lack of productivity on seven dead people and three who never existed." Wally: I used to blame living coworkers but it made the meetings awkward. The Boss: Whose fault is that? Wally: Here comes the awkward part.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #albanian inflation, #billion percent, #fetid water, #hyper inflation

View Transcript

Transcript

Elbonian inflation reaches a billion percent, daily An Elbonian says, "Is this enough for a small?" $ Fetid water! Another Elbonian says, "A minute ago, yes. Now it costs a hundred times more." The first Elbonian says, "Problem solved."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogcart the ceo, #salary, #400x more, #admit your selfish, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "My salary is 400 times more than yours." Dogbert says, "My goal is to jack that up to 410, maybe 420." A woman says, "I hate you for this." Dogbert says, "So you admit you're selfish?"