Stealing Company Comic Strips - Page 13
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The Boss says to Catbert, "I inadvertently gave Alice verbal praise." Catbert asks, "Is she addicted?" The Boss says, "She's been lying and stealing to get more." Catbert replies, "She leaves us no choice." The Boss says to Alice, "I have to promote you to management."
Dogbert says to Ratbert, "Ratbert, I have good news and bad news." Dogbert says to a happy Ratbert, "The good news is I'm starting up a power utility company and you're my new VP of Operations!" Dogbert says to a chagrined Ratbert, "The bad news is that your office is inside a wheel attached to a generator."
Dogbert says to a dragon, "Bob, I'm starting a power utility company." Dogbert says to the dragon, "You'll be my Director of Marketing. Your job is to increase revenue." A frightened-looking boy is lying in bed with the covers pulled up to his nose. A lighted lamp is at his bedside. The dragon's tail is sticking out from under the bed and the dragon says, "Normally I'm an herbivore, Billy, but when the lights go off..."
Dilbert is watching television and hears, "Buy your electricity from the Dogbert Power Company." Dogbert, in front of a TV camera, says, "We generate all of our power with the help of California environmentalists." Two workmen are carrying a man wrapped tightly in a blanket. They're preparing to put the man in the fire in a large furnace. One workman says to the other, "These are getting harder to find lately."
The Boss sits behind his desk and says, "I told them you would be at the meeting Monday morning." Dilbert says, "What?? That means I have to travel all day Sunday. You're stealing my life!" Dilbert sits on the couch in his robe eating. He turns to Dogbert and says, "Then he said if I had social plans he'd reschedule." Dogbert replies, "Ouch."
The Boss comes to Carol's desk and says, "Carol, I need you to fill in for our receptionist today." The Boss continues, "Remember, you will be the face of our company, the first impression for visitors." Carol is seen at the receptionist's desk. A visitor stands at the desk looking surprised as Carol says, "If anyone offers you food, don't eat it."
Alice is sitting at The Boss' desk. The Boss says, "Alice, you have to learn how to take risks." Alice replies, "You mean like quitting this putrid company and going to work someplace better?" The Boss asks Catbert, "Why doesn't anyone understand anything I say?" Catbert responds, "Three o'clock."
Headline: Catbert: Evil HR Director. Catbert leans over a Carl's cubicle wall. Catbert says, "Contractors are not allowed to breath company air, Carl." Catbert continues, "This air is for employees only. You need to supply your own air." Carl, Dilbert, and Wally are sitting at a conference table. Carl is wearing an oxygen tank and mumbles, "Mmb, Bmf, Rmn, Hmr!" Dilbert turns to Wally and asks, "Does anyone understand Carl?" Wally replies, "Hey! He's using our light!"
The Boss says to Carl, "Carl, you're only a contractor. You have to stop using company resources." Carl mumbles angrily, "Mmn, Nph, Hbm, Mrm!" The Boss replies, "Yes, I know you bring your own air. But you still use our gravity." Carl is taken aback. He mumbles, "Fbm, Gmp, Rkr!" The Boss responds, "If it's not too much to ask, could you hover?"
Headline: Dilbert the Sales Guy. Dilbert hands a customer his card and says, "Here's my card. None of this information is correct." The customer asks, "Why don't you get new ones?" Dilbert responds, "That costs money." The customer adds, "You must have a lot of clout in your company." Dilbert responds, "Shut up and buy something."