Talk Comic Strips - Page 13
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368 Results for Talk
View 121 - 130 results for talk comic strips. Discover the best "Talk" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday January 11,
1994
Tags small group, young, Funny, single people, socialize, romances, ski trips
Transcript
Tina: "Dilbert, I'm forming a small clique of all the young, funny, single people in the department." "We'll have drinks during lunch, talk about ski trips, and have romances within the group." Dilbert: "Please...just shoot me now." Tina: "No, no...we need you to do our work."
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Tuesday March 15,
1994
Tags new management layer, middle mangemnet, new boss, harfurd, idiot, unqualified, fool
Transcript
The Boss: Im creating a new layer of management so I dont have to talk to you anymore. Richard is your new boss. He has an MBA from Harfund University. Dilbert: You mean Harvard don't you? The Boss: Uh oh
Friday March 18,
1994
Tags organ donor, reorganizations, unwanted employees, what job
Transcript
Wally: Sometimes I think these constant reorganizations are just excuses for getting rid of unwanted employees. Wally: what job did you end up with? Dilbert: Organ donor Wally: My shoulder is acting up. Do I talk to you or is there a form to fill out? Dilbert: I don't think thats an "Organ"
Monday April 11,
1994
Tags device conforms, international standards, communications, not fault, less experineced, boss phone number, vendor, salesman
Transcript
"Our device conforms to all international standards for communications." "In other words, it doesn't do anything useful and it's not your fault." "Is there somebody less experienced I could talk to?" "Do you have my boss's number?"
Monday April 18,
1994
Tags press release, dsn, bid 50 million, hollywood studio, providing static, channels, Dogbert, static netowrk
Transcript
"Here's the press release about our bid to buy 'DSN' for fifty billion dollars." "DSN is the hollywood studio that provides static to all the channels that woudl otherwise be blank." "The 'Dogbert Static Network'?!!" "Talk to me, babe."
Thursday May 19,
1994
Tags difficult, cooperate, project success, head is full, birdseed, pants glued, soap carving
Transcript
Dilbert: Your department has a reputation for being difficult to work with. But I know we can cooperate to make my project a success. Man: Id love yo help but my head is full of birdseed and my pants are glued to this chair. Dilbert: I'll talk to your boss. Man: Good Luck. He's a soap carving.
Saturday July 02,
1994
Tags felt like kissing, first date 85%, kiss good night, third date, wearing sweat pants
Transcript
Dilbert: "This was our third date, Liz. Tradition demands that you kiss me or give me the 'let's be friends' talk." LIZ: "No, our first date only counted as 85 % because we were wearing our sweat pants." DILBERT: "I'm 15 % short?!!" LIZ: "It's too bad, because I really felt like kissing."
Saturday October 29,
1994
Tags hate finance guy, rigid, inflexible, not team player, extra napkin, lunch room talk
Transcript
Dilbert: Have you started to hate the new finance guy yet? wally: yeah, Is tarted yesterday. Dilbert: He seems so rigid. Wally: Rigid and inflexible, Not a team player. Dilbert: Do you have an extra napkin? Wally: I won't really know until Im done.
Tuesday February 07,
1995
Tags twlecommuting, optional habits, hygiene, cow orkers, fading memeory, language skills, expect answers, gas mask, tarzan like pharses
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his computer at home, dressed in a bathrobe and looking unshaven. He types, "Day two of telecommuting is going smoothly. I have eliminated all optional habits of hygiene." Dilbert continues typing, "My co-workers are a fading memory. I am losing language skills. I talk to my computer and expect answers." Dilbert types, "For reasons that are unclear, my dog wears a gas mask and shouts tarzan-like phrases." Dogbert stands behind Dilbert wearing a gas mask and yelling, "Kreegah! Bundalo!"
Monday March 20,
1995
Tags human resources, down sizing, acts like a freind, misery of people, bat your head, business
Transcript
Dogbert stands on a desk and tells the Boss, "I hired a new director of Human Resources to handle the downsizing." Dogbert continues, "I needed somebody who acts like a friend but secretly delights in the misery of all people." Catbert stands on a monitor and says to an employee, "We need to talk, Paul. But first I'm going to bat your head around and scratch you." Paul responds, "Hee hee!! That's so cute!"


