Tell Everything Comic Strips - Page 13
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960 Results for Tell Everything
View 121 - 130 results for tell everything comic strips. Discover the best "Tell Everything" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday March 24,
2012
Tags ineffective, nemesis, physics of work, quarreling
Transcript
Dilbert: My old nemesis retired, so I asked Randy to take over that function because he's ineffective at everything he does. Coworker: Huh? Dilbert: The physics of work required that each employee be matched with an anti-employee called a nemesis. Coworker: I don't know who my nemesis is. Wally: Uh-oh. You got a hider. They're the worst.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday April 04,
2012
Tags meetings, late for meeting, reschedule, 10 minutes, late
Transcript
Coworker: I'm sorry I'm a few minutes late for our 10:50 meeting. Wally: We'll have to reschedule because I have another meeting at eleven. Tina: Reschedule? I'm only ten minutes late! Wally: Tell that to my 11:10.
Monday April 23,
2012
Tags business ethics, lawyers & attorneys, apps, contact information, users address books, data, office, desk, meeting, store data, business
Transcript
Coworker: Please tell me our apps don't steal contact information from our users' address books. Boss: We upload the data but we don't store it. Coworker: That's like saying I can date your wife if I put a bag over her head. Boss: That could work. Coworker: I don't think I'm getting through to you.
Friday April 27,
2012
Tags accomodate cup, coffe cup, head flattened, job interview, monkey, surgically flattened, starbucks, barista, animals
Transcript
wally: Tell me why I should hire you as my service monkey, Carl. Carl: I worked as a starbucks barista for eight years and my head has been surgically flattened to stabilize your coffee cup. Dilbert: Impressive. Wally: This is nothing, You should see how well he interviews,
Sunday April 29,
2012
Tags therapist, therapy, couch, complaining, turn tables, shrink, session, husband, pad.pen, fishing for compliments, relationships, psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: People always try to take advantage of me. Therapist: I know what you mean. I lost five pounds and my husband didn't notice! I came home last night and he hadn't even cleaned the garage like he promised. I had to park on the street! Dilbert: Is it my imagination, or have you found a clever way to make people pay to listen to you complain? Therapist: Tell me more about how you think Im clever.
Saturday May 05,
2012
Tags conversation, bad habit, misinterpreting, bad mouthing, too paranoid, sounds crazy
Transcript
Co-worker 1: So, Dilbert, what else are you working on lately? Dilbert: I'd rather not say because you have a habit of misinterpreting everything you hear and then bad-mouthing it later. Co-worker 1: He basically said he's too paranoid to talk to people. Co-worker 2: He sounds crazy.
Wednesday May 09,
2012
Tags absurd, assumptions, forecast, meetings, revenue forecst
Transcript
Coworker: And my revenue forecast says... Dilbert: Did you make any assumptions? Coworker: I made a lot of them. Dilbert: Then we don't believe your forecast. Coworker: Can I tell you about it anyway? Dilbert: Do whatever makes you feel less absurd.
Friday June 01,
2012
Tags Astrology, furniture, magic, feng shui, black magic, voodoo, psychic, overbooked, office design, occult
Transcript
Dilbert: The feng shui consultant you asked for is overbooked. But I found a guy who is heavily into astrology, black magic, and voodoo. Boss: Are you trying to tell me something? Dilbert: Ask him. He's also a psychic.
Saturday June 02,
2012
Tags conversation, idea, shredding gloves, bad listener, dumb idea
Transcript
Alice: Hold that thought until I put on my idea-shredding gloves. Dilbert: My idea is that...we...um... You're a bad listener. Alice: Tell me more about your dumb idea.
Thursday June 14,
2012
Tags anger, bad idea, email, hate, meeting, recommend changes, bed ideas, business
Transcript
Coworker: Did you see my email with all of my recommended changes to your product? Dilbert: Yes. Everything you suggested is a bad idea, but I don't want to spend the rest of my life explaining why. Coworker: Now I hate you. Dilbert: All roads headed in that directions. All I did was take the shortest one.