2017 Comic Strips - Page 13

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Cublices Or Open Office Plan

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Cublices Or Open Office Plan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office, concept, cubicle, floorplan, laziness, hiding

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you prefer the privacy of a cubicle or the collaborative atmosphere of an open office plan? Wally: Cubicles poison my soul. But in an open office plan, I would not get any work done. Dilbert: So... which do you prefer? Wally: The one with no work. I thought that was obvious.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags climate change, carbon dioxide, emissions, global warming, environmental issues

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I invited a climate scientist to explain the risk of climate change to our company. Man: Human activity is warming the earth and will lead to a global catastrophe. Dilbert: How do scientists know that? Man: It's easy. We start with the basic science of physics and chemistry. Then we measure changes in temperature and CO2 over time. We put that data into dozens of different climate models and ignore the ones that look wrong to us. Then we take that output and run it through long-term economic models of the sort that have never been right. Dilbert: What if I don't trust the economic models? Man: Who hired the science denier?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags friendship, closeness, favor, benefit, debate, relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: Can you give me a ride to the airport on Saturday? Dilbert: My attorney will answer that question. Dogbert: The evidence will show that you are not the kind of friend who qualifies for airport rides. I will prove beyond a reasonable doubt that you are what is called a "work friend." A background check with your family and acquaintances will show that you are unlikely to ever reciprocate. In short, there is no social or monetary reason for Dilbert to agree to your unreasonable request. Tina: Maybe he just wants to be nice. Dogbert: The evidence would suggest otherwise.

Tina Wants To Borrow Wally's Phone

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina Wants To Borrow Wally's Phone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cell phone, germs, cleanliness, bathroom, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: My phone is broken. Can I use yours to make a call? Wally: Absolutely. If it seems warm, that's because I was using it in the men's room for the past two hours. Tina: I'll ask someone else. Wally: Yup.

Tina Wants To Borrow Dilbert's Phone

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina Wants To Borrow Dilbert's Phone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cell phone, property, possession, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: Can I borrow your phone to make a call? I dropped mine and broke it. Dilbert: No, I don't like other people touching my phone, or breathing on it, or reading my messages. Tina: You have a lot of issues. Dilbert: Said the person who doesn't use protective phone cases because they are ugly.

Tina Has Phone Anxiety

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina Has Phone Anxiety - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cell phone, boredom, time, killing time, anxiety, addiction, distraction, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: I'm having a lot of anxiety because my mobile phone is broken. What happens if I need to stand in line for something? What would I do while I waited? Dilbert: You need an invisible friend. Tina: I have one, but she's always on her phone.

Erik Used To Work For The Cia

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Erik Used To Work For The Cia - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags surveillance, cia, technology, spying, privacy

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: This is our new hire, Erik. He used to be a computer programmer for the CIA. Dilbert: Hi, I'm Dilbert. Erik: I know. I've been watching you through your devices for years. Dilbert: You what? Erik: Um... I mean, hi!

Keeping The Hacker Code

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Keeping The Hacker Code - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cia, spy, hacking, technology, lying, deception, surveillance, cameras

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I hear you were a programmer for the CIA. Did you keep a copy of their hacker code that lets you spy through any digital agency? Erik: Would you believe "no?"

Erik Listens To The Meeting

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Erik Listens To The Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cia, spying, listening, surveillance

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: Erik used to work for the CIA. Dilbert: You missed the meeting. Erik: I listened to the whole thing. Dilbert: I didn't know the speakerphone was on. Erik: Let's change the subject now.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags thinking, ideas

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I can't figure out what is wrong with my code. Dilbert: Try rubber ducking it. Man: What? Dilbert: Rubber ducking is when you solve your coding problem by explaining it to a toy rubber duck. When you explain a problem to someone else, it forces you to look at it from new angles. Man: I can't tell if that is a brilliant idea or a practical joke. Dilbert: Ask your boss. Man: Okay, is rubber ducking a brilliant idea or a practical joke. Boss: It's a brilliant idea. I get most of my management ideas by talking to an imaginary rhesus monkey. Dilbert: I think you muddied the waters there a little bit.