100% Complete Comic Strips - Page 13

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

153 Results for 100% Complete

View 121 - 130 results for 100% complete comic strips. Discover the best "100% Complete" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Does Ceo Job For 10%

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Does Ceo Job For 10% - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #money, #wages, #work ethic, #annual pay, #deal, #split work, #salary, #work percentage, #pass the buck

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO. Dogbert: I will give you 10% of my annual pay if you do 100% of my job for me. 10% of my pay as CEO is still a lot of money. Wally: I'll do it. I'll give you 10% of what he's paying me if you do 100% of his work plus mine. It's still a lot of money. Asok: I'm in!

Board Offers Dogbert Severence Package

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Board Offers Dogbert Severence Package - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #avarice, #compensation, #executives, #golden parachute, #greed, #money, #wages

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO. Catbert: The board has approved a $100 million golden parachute if you quit now. Dogbert: $100 million?!!! How am I supposed to live on that? You insult me! Catbert: That's a lot of money for doing nothing. Dogbert: Bah! I spend more than that on soft cheese.

Dilbert Working On Boss's Side Job

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Working On Boss's Side Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work, #labor, #free, #taking advantage, #side job, #boss, #conflict of interest

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Did you finish the website I asked you to make for my side business? Dilbert: No, because you keep me busy 100 percent of the time in my regular job. Boss: Hey, it isn't easy asking for twice as many status updates either.

Charge All Hours To Projects

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Charge All Hours To Projects - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #logic, #billing, #honesty, #fraud, #money, #time

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Make sure you charge 100 percent of your time to project codes. Dilbert: Are you asking us to fraudulently apply our miscellaneous hours to specific projects so we can overbill clients? Boss: It's not a crime if you pretend it was an accident. Dilbert: Did you learn that in "flaw" school?

What The Family Would Think

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
What The Family Would Think - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #interview, #lying, #deception, #commitment, #honesty, #guest artist, #donna oatney

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: If you hire me, I will dedicate 100 percent of my energy to making this company succeed! Dilbert: What would your family think if they heard that? Man: They'd understand. They're all huge liars, too.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #logic, #no-win, #deadline

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Are these user specifications complete? I ask because any later changes will cause me to miss the deadline. Man: What if I only need a tiny change later? Wally: I'm counting on it. That way I can blame you when I miss the deadline. Man: How do most people handle this situation? Wally: Well, the pessimists know they're doomed, so it's no surprise to them when it happens. Man: What do the optimists do? Wally: They become pessimists.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #app, #developer, #workload, #ideas, #obliviousness, #unrealistic, #goals

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: I have a great idea for an app. And I choose you to be on my start-up team. I'll be the idea person and you do all of the technology. Dilbert: So... I would be doing 100 percent of the work? Tina: I already did the hard part of coming up with an idea. Your part is just typing. So stop complaining and type me an app. Dilbert: It isn't that easy. Tina: Can you recommend someone less lazy?

Can't Take Vacation

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Can't Take Vacation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company policy, #catch-22, #rules, #exception

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our policy says I can't take my vacation until I complete all of my mandatory training. I can't take the fax safety class because it no longer exists. Can you make a policy exception for me? Boss: Okay, I won't force you to take a vacation.

Move To Cubicles Is Complete

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Move To Cubicles Is Complete - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #office, #cubicle, #depression, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We're done moving the staff from the open office plan back to cubicles. Now they will be less distracted when they focus on the crushing futility of their assignments. Boss: Good job. Dilbert: If you need me, I'll be in my fabric-covered box.

Cracked Screen

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Cracked Screen  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #phone, #cell phone, #fragile, #design, #screen, #case, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Introducing our new mobile phone product, the BSB 100. BSB stands for Beautiful, Slippery, and Brittle. Oops. Voice: What's the 100 stand for? Dilbert: That's how many times you'll have to replace a cracked screen.