Ceo Comic Strips - Page 13
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Character
627 Results for Ceo
View 121 - 130 results for CEO comic strips. Discover the best "Ceo" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday November 29,
2005
Tags two ceos, top job, syockholders, average employees slaary
Transcript
"After the merger, we'll have two CEOs sharing the top job." "A spokesperson explained 'If our stockholders don't mind paying one CEO 450 times the average employee's salary..." "...They shouldn't mind doing it twice.'"
Wednesday November 30,
2005
Tags after merger, job of ceo, old married couple
Transcript
"After the merger, we'll be sharing the job of CEO." "We get along great, just like an old married couple. Ha ha ha!" "He's the wife."
Sunday December 11,
2005
Tags billion dollar line, design, ecstatic, massive design flaws, press release, proper incenives, stock options, underwater
Transcript
"I told our CEO that the design would be done in a month. He's ecstatic!" "That would be good except that I told you it won't be done for six months." "Ooh." "So, I guess you'll have to tell him." "It's too late." "He's already issued a press release. You'll have to finish the design in a month." "The only way to do it in a month is to accept massive design flaws that will destroy a billion dollar line of business." "That's okay. My stock options are so underwater that it won't make any difference." "I'll just blame all of the problems on the Chinese company that manufactures our products." "Ultimately, it's the CEO's fault for failing to give me proper incentives."
Tuesday January 17,
2006
Wednesday January 18,
2006
Transcript
"Dilbert, come up with a plan to integrate our product with the one we acquired through the merger." "Okay. My plan is to throw away the competitor's product because it's just a cheap knock-off of our product." "How about a plan that doesn't make our CEO look like a moron?" "He could stop wearing sleeveless sweaters."
Sunday February 12,
2006
Transcript
Our CEO appreciates pushback. "The last thing he wants is a bunch of yes men." "Don't be afraid to stand your ground. He respects that." "My plan is to form business units around each product line." PLAN "Excuse me. We tried that once and it didn't work." "You're fired. Leave now." "Cruelty or convenience?" "I needed a cubicle to store my extra binders."
Wednesday February 15,
2006
Saturday February 25,
2006
Sunday March 12,
2006
Tags catch and release, ceo seminar, hurt fish, inform life, new spouse, philosophy, set free, spin off compnay, without making decisions, be decisive
Transcript
"Welcome to Dogbert's catch-and-release CEO seminar." "Catch-and-release is more than a way to hurt fish for entertainment." "It's a philosophy that will inform your entire life." "For example, when you acquire a new company, wait a few years and then spin it off." "When you catch a new spouse, wait a few years and then set it free." Boot! "When you golf, hit that ball into a hole and then take it out." "Your ultimate goal is to look decisive without making any real decisions." "Good seminar. It makes fishing more fun when you know it hurts them!" "Ouch!"
Sunday April 30,
2006
Transcript
"Wally, I have to let you go..." "Well, this was bound to happen." "I guess someone told you that I e-mailed our CEO and said you think his daughter looks like a chimp." "Or is it because I built a guest house from stolen office supplies?" "Maybe it's because you found out that I've been taking a dollar out of your desk every day for seven years." "Actually, I was trying to say I have to let you go to a training class." "Is it someplace nice?"


