Elbonians Comic Strips - Page 13

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155 Results for Elbonians

View 121 - 130 results for Elbonians comic strips. Discover the best "Elbonians" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags walking, volunteering, mean, cruel, elbonians, tired, complaining, cutting, lawn, mowing, Sports

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Dogbert says, "It feels good when you volunteer to help others." Dogbert says, "that's why I talked some poor Elbonians into mowing our lawn for free. I want them to feel the joy of giving." Elbonian says, "All I'm feeling is tired." Elbonian says, "Try doing it faster."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sitting, idea, moving, identity, theft, introduction

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The boss says, "We're moving our data center to Elbonia to save money." Dilbert says, "That seems a bit dangerous since every Elbonian is an identity thief." The Boss says, "What?" It seemed like an exaggeration, but it wasn't. Elbonian says ,"Hi, I'm old man Podemkin." Elbonian says, "I was him this morning!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags elbonians, war, punching, pow, cultural sensitivity

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The Boss says, "Alice, I'm sending you to cultural sensitivity training before we meet with the Elbonians." The Boss says, "Last time you almost started a war." Alice says, "I made one little mistake." FLASHBACK Alice says, "And here's another way the women in my country are different." POW!!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cultural sensitivity, elbonians, negotiating, soul, training, yawn

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CULTURAL SENSITIVITY TRAINING Man says, ?Elbonians believe that if you yawn in their direction, you steal their soul.? Alice says, ?In other words, we can use it as a negotiating tool.? Man says, ?No, that's not...? LATER Alice says, ?Okay, my intern has your soul. Give us a 20% discount or he swallows.?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags time travel, elbonia, time, 70 years future, great grandson, set thing, won't work out, cave, pool, monster, gun

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Dilbert: I hope I'm not calling too late. What time is it in Elbonia? Elbonian: We're seventy years in your future. I'm the great grandson of the guy you are trying to reach. By the way, that SETI thing won't work out the way you're hoping.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ignorance (knowledge), elbonian factory, hysterical blindness, hats, long hats, elbonian, conveyor belt

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Dilbert: We have a safety problem at our Elbonian factory. We're getting reports of hysterical blindness. They don't what's causing it. Elbonian: I can't see!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags salutations, sven, elbonia, handshake, kiss mitten, greetings, foreigner

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Wally: This is Sven, our biggest customer from Elbonia. Whoa! No handshake. That's an insult. The first time you meed an Elbonian you kiss his mitten. Elbonian: Seriously? Wally: Oh, we're just getting started.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, competitors network, elbonians, bribe blogger, limited capacity, self control, bury in woods

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Boss: Can you hack into our competitor's network and make it look as if the Elbonians did it? Dilbert: No. Boss: Can you bribe a blogger to write good things about our company? Dilbert: No. Boss: Now that I've worn down your limited capacity for self-control, I need you to bury something in the woods, no questions asked. Dilbert: Fine.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, embarrass your compnay, etiquette & ethics, local debauchery, personal behavior, pollute ground water, pollution, reflect poorly, elbonia

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Wally: Where can I go to enjoy some of the local debauchery? Elbonian: Aren't you worried that your personal behavior will reflect poorly on your company? Wally: How can I embarrass a company that plans to pollute your groundwater? Elbonian: Say what? Wally in Elbonia

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags military policy, missile program, orphanage, roof of orphange, test missle, elbonia

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Elbonian: Our missile program is the pride of Elbonia! Yesterday we launched a test missile that went a hundred yards before ripping the roof off an orphanage. Dogbert: You test your missiles near orphans? Elbonian: What are the odds they'd be unlucky three times?