Anti Management Cartoons Comic Strips - Page 13

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

401 Results for Anti Management Cartoons

View 121 - 130 results for anti management cartoons comic strips. Discover the best "Anti Management Cartoons" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bill gates, #Dogbert, #incoming missles, #anti microsoft weapons, #press conference, #huge catapult

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits on the couch next to Dilmom. Dilbert says, on the phone, "Dogbert, Mom told Bill Gates she uses the "Linux" operating system!" Dogbert stand at a large control panel which included a radar screen. Dogbert says, "I'm tracking four incoming missles. I'll launch our anti-miscrosoft weapons to intercept." Three reporters fly through the air towards a missle that has "MS" on its side. One of thre reporters says, "I wondered why a press conference was being held in a huge catapult."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #risk management assessment, #no risk, #managemnt, #add anything

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, to the boss, "As requested, I did a "risk management" assessment." Alice points to a picture of the boss with a zero over his head. Alice says, "I concluded that there was no risk of any management." Alice says, "Do you have anything to add?" The boss says, "I'll get back to you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #chest pains, #my heart, #anti gravity belt, #invented, #cpr, #engineers say

View Transcript

Transcript

Man that looks like Mordac sits between Dilbert and Ted. Mordac says, "Chest pains.... My heart.." Mordac says, "I invented a antigravity belt but it's hidden!" Mordac keels over, his feet wave in the air. Ted says, "Do you think it's true?" Dilbert says, "It's what engineers says to increase the odds of getting CPR."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work all night, #finish prodcut, #random act, #management, #seem less random

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss runs into Alice in the hall. He cocks his arm and says, "Alice, I expect you to work all night to finish that project. It's vital!" Alice says, "Aagh!! I'm a victim of a random act of management!" The boss sits behind his desk, looks in a mirror and thinks, "I was sure the arm-pumping would make it seem less random."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #eat a sandwhich, #edges of bread, #anti crust

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss sits in a meeting with Wally and Asok. the boss says, "Before I eat a sandwich, I always remove the useless edges of the bread." The boss says, "that tells you what kind of manager I am." Aosk says, "You're the anti-crust?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #management book, #obvious advice, #quotes from dead people, #ganghi, #assert cart, #Dogbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands with a coffee cup behind Dogbert who wags his tail and types at his computer. Dilbert says, "What's your new management book about?" Dogbert types and says, "It's a bunch of obvious advice packaged with quotes from famous dead people." Dilbert says, "Did Gandhi really say "Get that #!% dessert cart off my foot!"?" Dogbert says, "He might have."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #budget system, #under utilized mainframe, #obsoltete, #reality versus management

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, to Dilbert, "Move our budget system onto the under-utilized mainframe." Dilbert says, "It's under-utilized because it's obsolete." Dilbert thinks, "Reality versus mangement; who shall be the victor?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #relocatating, #better cubicle, #team of movers, #boxed possessions, #undisclosed location, #laminate company id

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok is packing boxes. He tells Dilbert, "I'm relocating to a better cubicle." Asok continues, "Tonight a team of movers will take my boxed possessions to an undisclosed location." Asok continues, "They're also going to laminate my company I.D." Asok continues, "I'm supposed to leave it with the guard on the way out." Asok holds up a check and says, "And I got paid two days early!" Asok continues, "It's all because management appreciated the constructive criticism I posted on the message board." Asok folds his arms proudly and says, "As I hoped, my condescending tone helped them to see their folly." Dilbert asks, "Do you mind if I rifle through your boxes and take office supplies?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogberts, #accelerated course, #check book, #final exam, #todays date

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina talks on the phone at her cubicle, and says, "I'd like to enroll in Dogbert's accelerated management course." Dogbert says, "Take out yout checkbook and begin your final exam now." Tina says, "Question one: What is today's date?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new ceo, #turnaround expert, #pleasure to meet, #business process, #value based, #management method

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice, the boss, Wally, Asok and a new guy with big sharp teeth and horns on his head are in a meeting. The new guy looks like the devil. The boss directs evryone's attention to him and says, "This our new CEO. He has a reputation as a turnaround expert." Asok says, "It is a pleasure to meet you. Do you favor TQM or more of a business process approach?" The new guy replies, "I'm partial to the value-based management method." Asok says, "I'm not familiar with that one."