Boss Asks Comic Strips - Page 13

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Boss Asks

View 121 - 130 results for boss asks comic strips. Discover the best "Boss Asks" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #technical, #listening, #conclusion, #consciousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and three people sit at a conference table. A man asks, "Well, Dilbert, will our idea work from a technical perspective?" Dilbert thinks, "I wasn't listening . . . Now I'll have to babble about irrelevant technical things until they lose consciousness." The people are all asleep. Dilbert says, "And in conclusion, never underestimate the power of technology."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #talk, #vacation, #leadership, #sock monkey

View Transcript

Transcript

A man stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "Dilbert, the Boss would like to talk to you." Dilbert enters the Boss's office and asks, "You wanted me?" The Boss says, "Ah, Dilbert, come in." The Boss says, "I'm taking two weeks of vacation and I need competent leadership while I'm gone." Dilbert thinks, "At last he's giving me an assignment with responsibility." The Boss says, "That's why I got this talking sock monkey. Pull the string twice a day and do what he says."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #plastic surgery, #elephant man, #ivory, #spare parts

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert leans against his feet. Dilbert says, "Hmm . . . Says here that Michael Jackson is considering even more plastic surgery." Dogbert says, "That explains why he wanted to buy the remains of the 'Elephant Man.'" Dilbert asks, "For spare parts?" Dogbert replies, "Well, it wasn't for the ivory."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #garbage man, #Dilbert, #garbage, #equations, #engineer, #calculations

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert opens his door and the garbage man stands on the doorstep. The garbage man holds up a crumpled piece of paper and says, "Pardon me, sir, but I couldn't help noticing these equations in your garbage." The garbage man continues, "I took the liberty of correcting a few quantum calculations." Dilbert asks, "Gosh, why are you a garbage man?" The garbage man replies, "I think the question is 'why are YOU an engineer?'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #strange, #post office, #wall, #stick, #tongue

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert asks, "Do you ever feel like doing something really strange?" Dogbert continues, "Sometimes I get the urge to break into the post office at night and lick all the stamps." Dilbert says, "Well . . . That's not TOO strange." Dogbert continues, "Then I would see how long I can stick to the wall by my tongue."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #dweeb, #humanity, #tube, #sock, #inventors, #ambiguity, #good

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table. Dilbert says, "Be honest, Dogbert. Do you think I'm a gifted inventor . . ." Dilbert asks, ". . . Or just a pathetic dweeb who contributes nothing to humanity?" Dogbert says, "Well . . . Uh . . . I think . . ." Dogbert says, "In my mind, you are the 'tube sock of inventors.'" Dilbert says, "Really? Gosh . . . Thank you . . . Wait, that's good, right? Of course, it must be good." Dogbert says, "Ambiguity succeeds where honesty dares not venture."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #phone, #answering machine, #greeting message, #demonstration, #Dogbert, #demonstrating

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert tells Dogbert, "I bought a phone answering machine." Dogbert asks, "Was the phone asking you questions you couldn't answer on your own?" Dilbert says, "The hard part is thinking of a greeting message." Dilbert says into the answering machine, "Hi. This is Dilbert. I'm not here right now." Dilbert says, "Well, technically I am here 'now' . . ." Dilbert says, "But 'now' is a relative term, so use your best judgment in deciding whether I'm here." Dilbert says, "Hmm . . . That was actually a creative little message." Dogbert says, "Demonstrating, once again, that subtle difference between creativity and complex stupidity."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #rented car, #car, #sympathy, #muster

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, whose arm is in a sling, says to Dogbert, "I got hit by a rented car." Dogbert asks, "Hertz?" Dilbert replies, "Not any more, but thanks for asking." Dogbert says as he walks away, "That's about all the sympathy I can muster for one day."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #tattoo, #shoulder, #tasteful, #timeless, #kick me

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I'm thinking of getting a tattoo." Dilbert continues, "On my shoulder . . . Something tasteful yet timeless. I don't want to regret it later." Dilbert asks, "Any suggestions?" Dogbert replies, "How about 'Kick me?'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #attendance, #miracle, #species, #survived

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert says, "I was rewarded today for perfect attendance at work." Dogbert asks, "What do you get?" Dilbert answers, "A day off with pay." Dogbert says, "It's a miracle your species has survived this long."