Can't Read Comic Strips - Page 13

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

280 Results for Can't Read

View 121 - 130 results for can't read comic strips. Discover the best "Can't Read" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tech support, #software is worn, #typing too hard, #decaf, #paint walls, #stop gym, #holistic tec support, #read more

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Dogbert Tech Support. Dogbert is talking into a telephone headset. He says, "Your software is worn out. You must be typing too hard." Dogbert continues, "Switch to decaf, paint your walls pink and stop going to the gym." Dilbert approaches Dogbert and says, "I've never heard of holistic tech support." Dogbert replies, "Maybe you should read more."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #criticize employees, #recreational criticising, #read email, #alice needs to talk

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss thinks, "I'm in a bad mood. Maybe I'll feel better if I criticize some employees." The Boss approaches Dilbert and says, "I'm doing some recreational criticizing. What do you have for me?" Dilbert responds, "E-mail." The Boss yells, "You read e-mail like a chimp!" Dilbert replies, "Alice said she needs to talk to you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #errors, #flatter yourself, #forward to friends, #idiot boss, #spelling, #mass email

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss types, "Trie to be moor prophesional in your commudicashuns." Dilbert and Wally read the email. Dilbert giggles at his computer, "Hee Hee!" Wally says, "Let's forward it to all our friends so they can see what an idiot we work for." Dilbert says, "But you're my only friend." Wally replies, "Don't flatter yourself."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #minutes, #meeting, #read minutes, #irrelevant things said, #men are idiots, #bad descions, #implied, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

In a meeting, The Boss says to Alice, "Alice, would you read the minutes from our last meeting?" Alice reads, "People said irrelevant things. Bad decisions were made. Men are idiots." The Boss responds, "I don't remember that last part." Alice says, "It was implied." Wally is asleep.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #defective copy, #employees still low, #low morale, #motivational book, #thinking

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Catbert, "I read this motivational book and yet the employees still have low morale." Catbert responds, "Maybe you have a defective copy. You should compare it to another one and see what's different." The Boss asks, "What if the second one is defective too?" Catbert replies, "Sheesh... It's like I'm doing all of your thinking here."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accounting firm, #headed for bankruptcy, #conflict of interest, #t shirt design business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to The Boss, "How could our accounting firm not notice that we were heading for bankruptcy?" The Boss replies, "Maybe there was a conflict of interest with their T-shirt design business." Dogbert holds up a T-shirt in front of Ratbert and says, "This one says, 'I'm with bankrupt' and it has an arrow." Ratbert replies, "Hee Hee!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accountants are weasels, #defective, #dilmom, #make money, #sell t shirts, #selling defects, #wesel soup

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to his mom, "Our accountants are weasels. They let us go bankrupt so they could sell T-shirts that say, 'I'm with bankrupt.'" Dilbert's mom responds, "Didn't your company make all of its money selling products you know were defective?" Dilbert replies, "Just stir your cauldron, mom." Dilbert's mom says, "Ironically we're having weasel soup."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accounting irregularities, #five year plan, #five years ago, #investigated, #prophetic, #5 year assessment

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "I found or five-year plan from five years ago." The Boss continues, "The last page says, "At the end of the fifth year, the entire management team will be..." The Boss continues to read, "... investigated for accounting irregularities." Wally looks at the secret service agent who has just entered and says, "Spooky."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #suspicious, #new ceo, #trailer park, #burglar, #mergers, #acquisitions, #accounting, #wallet and watch

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss introduces a man outfitted in a burglar suit, holding a sack. The Boss says, "This is our new CEO, Rufus T. Skwerrel. His first job was trailer park burglar. The Boss continues, "But thanks to a series of mergers and acquisitions, not to mention suspicious accounting, here we are." The Boss asks Rufus, "Would you like to say a few words?" Rufus pulls a knife out on Asok and says, "Wallet and watch."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #war on waste, #wear shirt, #honk, #blow nose, #program

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss picks up a T-Shirt that says "Wow" and exclaims, "Each of you will get a shirt as part of my war on waste program!" Dilbert responds, "I wouldn't wear that shirt at home or in the office, so what good is..." Wally blows his nose loudly into a shirt, "Honk!" Dilbert says, "Oh. Nevermind."