Doctor Comic Strips - Page 13

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

129 Results for Doctor

View 121 - 129 results for doctor comic strips. Discover the best "Doctor" comics from Dilbert.com.

Cooties Diagnosis

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Cooties Diagnosis - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags confirmed, cooties, diagnosis, doctor, medicine, Opinion, professional, skepticism, symptom, test

View Transcript

Transcript

doctor: in my professional opinion, you have a bad case of the cooties. we don't have any tests for cooties, but the main symptom is skepticism, and you have that. dilbert: cooties are not real. doctor: diagnosis confirmed.

Cooties Contact Tracing

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Cooties Contact Tracing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags 2 weeks, contact, cooties, doctor, doctors' offices, infect, physical, tracing, Women, zero

View Transcript

Transcript

doctor: we need to do contact tracing to determine who else you might have infected with cooties. how may women have you had physical contact with in the past two weeks? dilbert: i'd rather not say. doctor: i'll put you down for zero.

Social Media Poisoning

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Social Media Poisoning  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags health, medical, doctor, social media, poison, defensive, angry, self-control, weight, pounds, shaming, fat, over reaction

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert in doctor's office. dilbert: i think i have social media poisoning. it makes me feel defensive and angry all the time, but i can't quit. doctor: you've gained five pounds. dilbert yelling: you fat-shaming quack!

Spreading Virus

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Spreading Virus  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags coronavirus, covid-19, business, health, spread, face mask, happiness, immune system, medical, Advice, doctor, manage

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: they say the best way to manage the coronavirus is to spread it to people you dislike. the happiness you get from that will boost your immune system. dilbert: maybe i'll get medical advice from an actual doctor. dogbert: they leave out the good stuff.

Medicinal Coffee

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Medicinal Coffee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags addiction, coffee, health & safety, medical, side effects, tolerance, veins, doctor

View Transcript

Transcript

wally in doctor's office: i drink so much coffee that i developed a tolerance for it. do you have any kind of medical-grade coffee that could take me to the next level? doctor: yes, but it has terrible side effects. wally: skip the details and shove it in my veins.

Dogbert Does Telemedicine

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Does Telemedicine - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, telemedicine, time, doctor, health, pain, rake, leaves, medicine

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: i started doing telemedicine in my spare time. Dilbert: don't you need to be a doctor to do that? dogbert: technically, yes. but i found a workaround. dilbert: which is? dogbert: i tell people i'm a doctor. patient: doctor, i have a sharp pain in the back of my thigh. dogbert: are you sitting on a rake? patient: that's a weird question. oh. wait, i am. what should i do? dogbert: try picking up leaves with your hands.

Dogbert Is Doctor Of Impossible

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Is Doctor Of Impossible - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boring, business, cure, diseases, doctor, fail, headache, ice-cold bath, impossible, improvement, medical, prescribe, sarcasm, treatments, health and wellnes

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: i'm dogbert, doctor of the impossible. boss: does that mean you cure diseases that are believed to be impossible to cure? dogbert: no, that sounds boring. i prescribe treatments that are impossible to follow. when you fail you don't get better. you'll think it's your own fault. boss: how does that help anyone but you? dogbert: hey, i'm not the one who brought it up. boss: you're giving me a headache. dogbert: to cure that, i suggest ice-cold baths every six minutes.

Dilbert Is Not A Doctor

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.

Doctor Ratbert

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.