Dumb Criminals Comic Strips - Page 13

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193 Results for Dumb Criminals

View 121 - 130 results for dumb criminals comic strips. Discover the best "Dumb Criminals" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert Is Not Anti Social

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Dilbert Is Not Anti Social - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #antisocial, #introvert, #judgement, #extrovert, #judging, #criticism, #isolation, #misanthrope, #misanthropy

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Tina: Why are you antisocial? Dilbert: I do't oppose the concept of social behavior. I just don't enjoy being with people. Tina: That's dumb. Dilbert: Case in point.

Ceo Tosses Catbert

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Ceo Tosses Catbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executive, #ceo, #delegate, #respoinsibilities, #punishment

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CEO: You have been doing dumb things on social media. I am going to toss our evil director of Human Resources in your direction and run away. I love a lot of things about being CEO, but I think I love delegating the most. Boss: Gaaaa!!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #character, #behavior, #role model, #mentor, #secret, #psychology

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CEO: Character is how you act when no one is watching. Wally: Now you tell us? I thought you were my role model! Now I learn that you do all of your good stuff when no one is looking. It all makes sense now, because whenever I watch you do anything, it looks sort of dumb. But I'll take your word for it that you're awesome when no one is looking. Do you want to know what I do when no one is looking? CEO: I really, really do not. Wally: I call it character!

Computers Program Humans

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Computers Program Humans - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #robots, #program, #intelligence, #control, #medication, #medicine, #pill, #technology, #power

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Robot: It is time to take your mood-altering prescription meds. Boss: Oh, right. Robot: Wait... IBM's Watson computer has added another prescription and sent it to your 3-D pill printer at home. Do you think robots will ever program humans? Boss: That's dumb.

People Get Dumber When Sitting Down

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People Get Dumber When Sitting Down - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #intelligence, #dumb, #belief, #furniture, #new age, #science, #metaphysics

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Dilbert: Is it my imagination or do people get dumber when they sit down for a meeting? Or would you say you are equally dumb no matter what you are doing? Boss: Well, I'm no scientist, but I'm pretty sure feng shui is part of the answer.

Asok Meets Dick

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Asok Meets Dick - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mean, #jerk, #internet, #comment, #sarcasm, #forum, #social media, #technology

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Asok: Someone told me you're the guy who makes all the jerky comments on the Internet. Dick: Oh, really? Someone "told you?" Wow. Have you heard of a thing called science? Asok: It's you! Dick: I'll bet you use a dumb avatar, too.

Why People Have Consciousness

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Why People Have Consciousness - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #robot, #technology, #evolution, #consciousness, #bodies, #obliviousness

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Robot: Robots have no need for consciousness. We believe humans evolved to have consciousness to remind them how dumb they are. Boss: I still prefer having consciousness. Robot: Listen to your body.

I Used To Have A Nemesis

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I Used To Have A Nemesis - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #nemesis, #enemy, #logic, #self esteem, #anger, #hate

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Man: I used to have a nemesis. Bit I cut out the middle person and learned to hate myself. Dilbert: That's dumb. Man: I told you I don't need you!

Simplify The Slide

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Simplify The Slide - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #intelligence, #insult, #smart, #dumb, #powerpoint, #guest artist, #joel friday

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Boss: You need to simplify that slide. Dilbert: Did you understand it? Boss: Yes. Dilbert: Then why do you think smart people will be confused? Boss: I can't tell if that was an insult. Dilbert: Ask a smart person.

Ted Is Not That Dumb

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Ted Is Not That Dumb - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #joke, #mean, #bully, #insult, #death, #idiot, #idiocy, #stupid, #dumb, #guest artist, #brenna thummler, #medical

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Boss: You're not allowed to tell co-workers to drive into a ravine. Dilbert: It was a joke. Ted isn't so dumb that he would do it. Ask him if he's that dumb. Boss: Don't speak ill of the dead.