Empty Brain Comic Strips - Page 13

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276 Results for Empty Brain

View 121 - 130 results for empty brain comic strips. Discover the best "Empty Brain" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blank cd, #demo, #empty case, #forgetting blank cd, #new product, #software, #travel, #travelled four hours, #unit, #once we write, #engineering

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Dilbert approaches a receptionist and says, "I have an appointment to see a demo of your new product." The salesman holds up a box and says to Dilbert, "And the unit will be in a case like this, but completely different, and it will have software, once we write it." Dilbert holds the box and says, "You let me travel four hours to see an empty case?" The salesman replies, "Are you forgetting the blank CD?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cannibals, #inspirational quotes, #lobby wall, #hands on stomach

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Wally hands The Boss a piece of paper and says, "As requested, I pulled together some inspirational quotes for our lobby wall." The Boss reads the list and says, "Hannibal Lector... The Donner Party... Uh.. Wally, most of these people are cannibals." Wally puts his hand on his stomach and says, "It was probably a mistake to do this assignment on an empty stomach."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #india institute of technology, #huge brain, #mental superiority, #re heat tea, #forehead, #fire

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Asok: "At the India Institute of Technology, I learned to use my huge brain." "But I try not to frighten ordinary people with any gratuitous displays of mental superiority." "For example, I no longer reheat my tea by holding it to my forehead and imagining fire."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #intern, #cheap boss, #full size cubicle, #half size, #cubicle, #treats poorly, #no budget, #garbage can, #misunderstand

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Asok: "May I move to one of the empty cubicles?" The Boss: "Those are full-size cubicles; interns get half-size cubicles." Asok: "Yes... ordinarily, but there are hundreds of vacant cubicles because of downsizing." The Boss: "I'm not following you." Asok: "They're EMPTY! They will never be occupied. I want to use one." The Boss: "We don't have the budget to turn a full-size cubicle into a half-size cubicle just for you." "GAAA!!! That's not what I... never mind! Forget it!" "Furthermore, I do not believe this is a half-size cubicle."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sublet space, #business case, #risks and drivers, #changed mind

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Dilbert: "We only have two people on the third floor. Let's move them to our empty cubes here and sublet the space." The Boss: "Write a business case with all the risks and business drivers and I'll consider it." Dilbert: "I changed my mind. We shouldn't so anything." The boss: "I need a business case for that, too."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #berating, #humilation, #importance of work, #making sound rate products, #motivate staff, #no prasie, #no raises, #threats belittling, #trophy wives

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The boss; I need help motivating the staff. Catbert: what have you already tried? The Boss: Threats, belittling, humiliation, empty promises, berating, slogans , posters and bullying. Catbert: hmmm...we can't praise them or they'd as for raises. Catbert: Maybe they can be motivated by the importance of their work. The boss: their work is making second rate products to sell to idiots so our executives can afford trophy wives. Catbert: have you tried yelling until your face turns purple? The boss> make three copies, please!!!! Carol: This is new.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #product designer, #success, #best artists, #design professionals, #ate crayons, #intruders

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Product designer Dogbert: Good design is essential to you success. Thats why I empty only the best artists and design professionals. Who ate all the crayons again?! Ratbert: Intruders?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #single source vendor, #job offer, #vp title, #waiting eriod

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The boss: Okay, I convinced my company to make you our single source vendor. I assume you'll be make me a job offer now. any vp title will be fine. I'll just take an empty office. There ...is...a...waiting period!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #enormous brain, #world changing, #no pay, #no cubilce, #cling to ceiling, #interviews well

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"If you hire me, I will use my enormous brain to develop world-changing products." "I require no pay and no cubicle. I will eat used paper, and cling to the ceiling." The Boss: "In my defense, he interviews very well." "Zzzz."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #had coccyx removed, #unnecessary body parts, #removed, #brain, #care, #tonsils

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Dilbert: Where were you last week? Wally: I had my coccyx removed. Im having all of my unnecessary parts removed so I can get time off from work. Dilbert: How about the part of your brain that makes you care about others? Wally: its on the list after tonsils.