Enter Meeting Comic Strips - Page 13

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

962 Results for Enter Meeting

View 121 - 130 results for enter meeting comic strips. Discover the best "Enter Meeting" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #enter profession, #huge difference, #self esteem, #corporate trainer, #downsizing

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert sits on a file cabinet and tells Dilbert, "I'm going to enter a profession that will make a huge difference in my self-esteem." Ratbert continues, "I'll be a corporate trainer in a company that's downsizing." Dilbert asks, "Are you sure that will raise your self-esteem?" Ratbert asks, "Why would I want to RAISE it?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer support, #elbonian data base, #expensive consultant, #five hundred dollars, #meeting, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Alice, Ratbert, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "We're going to replace our computer support systems with the Elbonian database product." The Boss gestures toward Ratbert and continues, "It's risky, but don't worry. I've hired an outrageously expensive consultant who has never done this before." Ratbert says to Wally, "I earned five hundred dollars just coming to this meeting. How's YOUR day going?" Wally replies, "It won't make my top ten."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work, #anti work, #unit of work, #generated unnecessary work

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. Wally says, "This week I did equal amounts of work and anti-work." Wally continues, "For every unit of work I did, I generated an equal amount of unnecessary work for co-workers. I figure I broke even." The Boss says, "Wally, come see me after the staff meeting." Wally replies, "Oh, great. You're driving me into negative territory."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #layer of management, #meeting disaster, #senior management, #warning the layer above, #dont mention problems

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Don't mention any problems when you do your presentation to senior management, Alice." The Boss continues, "They might try to solve the problems during the meeting. That would be a disaster." Alice tells Dilbert, "As far as I can tell, every layer of management exists for the sole purpose of warning us about the layer above." Dilbert akss, "Are you saying they have a purpose?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #asok the intern, #installed calendar, #software, #schedule meetings easuer, #cubicle justice, #meeting until 3006, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice, Asok the Intern and Dilbert sit at a conference table. Asok says, "I installed calendar software on our network." Asok continues, "Now you can see everyone's schedule and easily set up meetings." Dilbert tells Alice, "I say we grab him and apply some cubicle justice." Alice points to the monitor and replies, "Good idea, but I'm in meetings until the year 3006."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #leadership seminar, #manager motivates employees, #14 hour days, #filthy sadist, #pointy haired imbecile, #leader, #unpopular decions, #training engineers

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice, Dilbert and Wally grumble as they enter a leadership seminar. The instructor asks, "What would you call a manager who motivates employees to work fourteen hours a day?" Alice answers, "A filthy sadist." Dilbert answers, "Pointy-haired imbecile." The instructor says, "Umm . . . No . . . That's not what I'm looking for." Wally says, "I think he means what do we call him to his face." Alice, Dilbert and Wally answer in unison, "Leader." The instructor says, "Right! And what do you call someone who can make unpopular decisions again and again?" Someone replies, "A filthy sadist?" Another participant says, "Wait, it might be another trick question." The instructor thinks, "I hate training engineers."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ask for one, #juggle mushrooms, #project review meeting, #trained bats, #five year budget forecast

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss sits at his desk and tells Dilbert, "You didn't give me your five-year budget forecast." Dilbert replies, "You didn't ask for one." The Boss says, "It was discussed at the project review meeting." Dilbert replies, "You didn't invite me to that meeting." The Boss asks, "Did you accomplish ANYTHING this week?" Dilbert answers, "I trained the bats who live in my cubicle to juggle mushrooms."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #all grown up, #intern, #unanswerable, #whiny, #decison

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. Asok says, "I'd like to start the meeting with a whiny, unanswerable question." Asok shouts, "Why can't anyone make a decision around here?!" Alice says, "That was good." Dilbert pats Asok on the back and sniff emotionally. He says, "My little intern is all grown up."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dread, #staff meeting, #describe accomplishments, #amazing success, #wally ville, #ass fell asleep

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss thinks, "I dread this part of the staff meeting." The Boss says, "Let's go around the table and describe our accomplishments for the week. Wally?" Wally replies, "It was another week of amazing success in Wallyville." Wally continues, "On Monday I realized my left bun had fallen asleep." Wally continues, "I was shocked. The 'Boys' had always worked as a team before." Wally leans to the side and continues, "Thinking quickly, I shifted my weight to my right bun and hoped for the best." Alice says, "That's your left side, not your right." Wally replies, "That's the other thing; apparently the boys switched sides sometime during the night." The Boss covers his face with his hands.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frazzled, #meet deadlines, #all day meeting off site, #theroy, #more time to explin

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert tells the Boss, "I'm totally frazzled. There simply isn't enough time in the day to meet my upcoming deadlines." Dilbert's hair and clothes are disheveled. The Boss says, "Let's have an all-day meeting off-site so I can explain why the deadlines are so important." Dilbert says, "So, your theory is that I'll have more time in the day if you explain something I already know?" The Boss replies, "I don't have a lot of tools here."