Huge Structure Comic Strips - Page 13

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217 Results for Huge Structure

View 121 - 130 results for huge structure comic strips. Discover the best "Huge Structure" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #senior management knows, #key employees, #hard imes, #bonuses, #black mailing themselves, #sound bad, #huge retention

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The Boss addresses a meeting, "Senior management knows they need to retain key employees during hard times." The Boss continues, "That's why they're giving themselves huge retention bonuses." Alice responds, "So, they're blackmailing themselves?" The Boss says, "You can make anything sound bad."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #grabbed by hand, #my sales meeting, #dressed like god, #huge hand, #guy, #thought it would be funny, #hee hee

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The plane is shown being grabbed by a giant hand. A flight crew member announces, "Folks, please stay in your seats. We've been grabbed by a huge hand." The woman next to Dilbert looks terrified. Dilbert says, "I hope this has nothing to do with how I dressed for my sales meeting at the Vatican." Ratbert is watching television at home. A voice from the television says, "But it turned out to be a guy with a huge hand who said he 'thought it would be funny.'" Ratbert laughs, "Hee hee! Huge hand."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #huge galatians project, #disqualified, #one minute late, #future depends on win bid, #winning bid, #future of company, #can't be late, #line dancing sign

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"After months of work, I finished our bid for the huge galatikus project." "I'll deliver it to them." "If it's on minute late, we'll be disqualified. The future of our company depends on us winning this bid." "He must think I'm a... Whoa, what's this?" "Irish line dancing lessons 10% off."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #india institute of technology, #huge brain, #mental superiority, #re heat tea, #forehead, #fire

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Asok: "At the India Institute of Technology, I learned to use my huge brain." "But I try not to frighten ordinary people with any gratuitous displays of mental superiority." "For example, I no longer reheat my tea by holding it to my forehead and imagining fire."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lazy rich, #new product, #rebate, #1 million, #banking on forgetting, #great bargain, #one person

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Dogbert: "Don't sell your new product for $29. Offer it at $1,000,029 with a rebate of $1,000,000." "People will think it's a great bargain when in fact it's just a huge inconvenience." The Boss: "And all we need is one person to forget to mail in the rebate forms." Dogbert: "We'll target the lazy rich."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #manager of executive compensation, #plan to steal, #meeting, #back slapping, #pormises, #raises, #ponys, #vacations, #huge raise, #business

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Boss: "I'd like you to meet Bradley, our new manager of executive compensation." Boss: "Bradley's job is to recommend to our board how much to pay company executives such as me." "Bradley is totally objective." Bradley: "Totally." "That was a world-class observation, so I'll recommend that the company buy you a pony." "...A STRONG pony to carry the huge bags of cash I recommend for you." Boss: "Good work, Bradley. I'll recommend to the board that you get a huge raise!" Dilbert: "Gaaa!! Stop pretending to have reasons!! Just steal the stupid money!!!" Boss: "See what I have to deal with every day?" Bradley: "Would an extra month of vacation reduce the sting?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceo, #move offcie, #near ceo home, #hug expense, #eat mud and die, #stock options, #buy hummer

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The Boss: "Our company is relocating to be nearer to our CEO's home." "When asked about the justification for the huge expense, our CO quipped, 'HA HA HA! Eat mud and die!'" "Then he gave himself some stock options and went to buy a Hummer."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #backs up, #fake news, #lake view, #potential fire place, #rains, #real estate charlatan, #seasonal skylight, #sweras, #turning bad into good, #well written

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Dogbert the real estate agent "When it rains the sewer backs up and covers the driveway." "Lake view." "Every spring rabid squirrels rip off huge chunks of the roof to look for food." "Seasonal skylight." "The dry brush behind the house is a fire hazard." "Potential, fireplace."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vogue, #madonna, #hug liar, #gandhi, #dancing, #lunch table

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"So I was dancing with Madonna and went "Vogue" like this. She liked the idea and made a video." "You've either had a fascinating life or you're a huge liar. I'm still undecided." "Ghandi said the same thing. SO I said, 'I'm not eating until you take it back.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #founder of compnay, #tug up, #copper wire, #replaced tombstone, #huge magnet, #business practivces, #spin in grave, #generate electricity

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"We dug up the founder of our company and wrapped him in copper wire." "Then we replace his tombstone with a huge magnet." "With any luck, our business practices will make him spin in his grave and generate electricity."