Laziness Comic Strips - Page 13

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182 Results for Laziness

View 121 - 130 results for laziness comic strips. Discover the best "Laziness" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Accepts Bribes

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Wally Accepts Bribes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bribe, bribery, money, laziness, work ethic

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Wally: I started accepting bribes from co-workers to incent me to do my job. Dilbert: If it didn't work for your employer, why do they think it will work for them? Wally: Something about optimism. Dilbert: They didn't say why? Wally: All I know is that no one paid me to listen to them.

Trust Your First Instinct

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Trust Your First Instinct - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bribe, bribery, laziness, work ethic

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Boss: People are telling me you are accepting bribes to help co-workers on projects. Wally: You think I'm helping my co-workers? Boss: Good point. That part didn't sound right. Wally: Trust your first instinct.

Ranked By Performance

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Ranked By Performance - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags rank, success, failure, laziness, reward, work ethic, trying, effort

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Boss: I ranked all of you based on your performance. Wally came out on top because he didn't make any mistakes. Dilbert: He also didn't do any work. Wally: Why does everyone hate winners?

Alice Takes On More Work

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Alice Takes On More Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, laziness, workload, philosophy, semantics

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Alice: Why do I keep taking on more work while you do noting? Wally: That's because you optimize for productivity, while I optimize for my happiness. Alice: That makes you a freeloader. Wally: I prefer the label "happy winner."

Wally Gives Approval

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Wally Gives Approval - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, signature, ignorance, reading, fine print

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Dilbert: I need everyone's buy-in on this. Wally: Do I have to read it? Dilbert: No. Wally: That's the sort of idea I can get behind.

Wally's Work Life Balance

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Wally's Work Life Balance - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, work ethic, excuse

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Wally: I can't do your urgent task because I'm on deadline for my boss. I can't meet your deadline because I have an urgent task from a co-worker. I finally figured out the whole "work-life balance" thing.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags logic, reasoning, laziness, work ethic, excuse, chaos theory

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Woman: When will you finish the technical review? Wally: That will depend on a variety of unknowns. A lot can happen between now and whenever you imagine I might be done with it. No one knows the future. I'd be a liar if I said I did, and you don't want a co-worker who is a liar, do you? Or do you? Woman: Lying would be better than whatever this is. Wally: In that case, I'll have it tomorrow.

Don't Escalate

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Don't Escalate - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers, laziness, challenge, help

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Dilbert: I need to escalate an issue to you. Boss: No. Get it away from me. I don't like issues. Especially the hard ones. Dilbert: Thank you for all the nothing. Boss: Shoo! Go!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags jargon, speech, words, nonsense, training, trainee, strategy, laziness

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Boss: Wally, I want you to train our new hire. Wally: The first thing you need to know is that we never use the DPX system when the MGB is down. Man: The... what and the what? Wally: Hold your questions till the end. You can use our PX4 to tunnel into the B9 data and produce at TMNP report. But you'll need authorization from the LDG and the MICOO. Man: I don't understand any of that! Wally: I toldy you to hold your questions until the end. Always remember to jost the primpram whenever the gip is fleeming toward kilp. Man: Maybe I should ask someone else to train me. Wally: Now we're making progress.

Boss Doesn't See Email

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Boss Doesn't See Email - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags space, astronaut, engineering, laziness, bureaucracy, accident

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Boss: The crew of our first spaceship suffocated on the launchpad. Apparently, I got an email last week asking for approval to repair the oxygen generator. Carol: You killed them with your incompetence? Boss: I can't take all the credit. It was a team effort.