Laziness Comic Strips - Page 13
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Character
182 Results for Laziness
View 121 - 130 results for laziness comic strips. Discover the best "Laziness" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday September 30,
2016
Wally Accepts Bribes
Tags bribe, bribery, money, laziness, work ethic
Transcript
Wally: I started accepting bribes from co-workers to incent me to do my job. Dilbert: If it didn't work for your employer, why do they think it will work for them? Wally: Something about optimism. Dilbert: They didn't say why? Wally: All I know is that no one paid me to listen to them.
Saturday October 01,
2016
Trust Your First Instinct
Tags bribe, bribery, laziness, work ethic
Transcript
Boss: People are telling me you are accepting bribes to help co-workers on projects. Wally: You think I'm helping my co-workers? Boss: Good point. That part didn't sound right. Wally: Trust your first instinct.
Wednesday October 05,
2016
Ranked By Performance
Thursday October 27,
2016
Alice Takes On More Work
Tags work ethic, laziness, workload, philosophy, semantics
Transcript
Alice: Why do I keep taking on more work while you do noting? Wally: That's because you optimize for productivity, while I optimize for my happiness. Alice: That makes you a freeloader. Wally: I prefer the label "happy winner."
Thursday November 03,
2016
Wally Gives Approval
Tags laziness, signature, ignorance, reading, fine print
Transcript
Dilbert: I need everyone's buy-in on this. Wally: Do I have to read it? Dilbert: No. Wally: That's the sort of idea I can get behind.
Monday November 14,
2016
Wally's Work Life Balance
Tags laziness, work ethic, excuse
Transcript
Wally: I can't do your urgent task because I'm on deadline for my boss. I can't meet your deadline because I have an urgent task from a co-worker. I finally figured out the whole "work-life balance" thing.
Sunday November 27,
2016
Tags logic, reasoning, laziness, work ethic, excuse, chaos theory
Transcript
Woman: When will you finish the technical review? Wally: That will depend on a variety of unknowns. A lot can happen between now and whenever you imagine I might be done with it. No one knows the future. I'd be a liar if I said I did, and you don't want a co-worker who is a liar, do you? Or do you? Woman: Lying would be better than whatever this is. Wally: In that case, I'll have it tomorrow.
Tuesday November 29,
2016
Don't Escalate
Sunday December 25,
2016
Tags jargon, speech, words, nonsense, training, trainee, strategy, laziness
Transcript
Boss: Wally, I want you to train our new hire. Wally: The first thing you need to know is that we never use the DPX system when the MGB is down. Man: The... what and the what? Wally: Hold your questions till the end. You can use our PX4 to tunnel into the B9 data and produce at TMNP report. But you'll need authorization from the LDG and the MICOO. Man: I don't understand any of that! Wally: I toldy you to hold your questions until the end. Always remember to jost the primpram whenever the gip is fleeming toward kilp. Man: Maybe I should ask someone else to train me. Wally: Now we're making progress.
Friday December 30,
2016
Boss Doesn't See Email
Tags space, astronaut, engineering, laziness, bureaucracy, accident
Transcript
Boss: The crew of our first spaceship suffocated on the launchpad. Apparently, I got an email last week asking for approval to repair the oxygen generator. Carol: You killed them with your incompetence? Boss: I can't take all the credit. It was a team effort.

