Lying Comic Strips - Page 13
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Character
164 Results for Lying
View 121 - 130 results for lying comic strips. Discover the best "Lying" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday June 03,
2016
Deciding Which Liar You Prefer
Tags choosing, choices, voting, election, Politics
Transcript
Boss: I can't decide if I want to vote for the liar with the budget plan that doesn't add up or... the other liar with a budget plan that doesn't add up. Dogbert: Have you tried using your ignorance to figure out which one is lying the least? Boss: Ooh, that could work.
Tuesday August 16,
2016
Boss Buys Software Without Help
Wednesday October 19,
2016
Estimating Finish Times
Tags website, internet, developer, code, coding, deadline, time, deception, lying, technology
Transcript
Boss: I'm having trouble managing our web developer because I don't know how long things are supposed to take. Does it really take nine months to change the font on the home page? Developer: How much do I owe you? Dilbert: Tell him my project normally takes two years.
Sunday November 27,
2016
Tags logic, reasoning, laziness, work ethic, excuse, chaos theory
Transcript
Woman: When will you finish the technical review? Wally: That will depend on a variety of unknowns. A lot can happen between now and whenever you imagine I might be done with it. No one knows the future. I'd be a liar if I said I did, and you don't want a co-worker who is a liar, do you? Or do you? Woman: Lying would be better than whatever this is. Wally: In that case, I'll have it tomorrow.
Monday December 19,
2016
Who's Turn To Lie
Tuesday December 20,
2016
Forgot To Go To Pre Meeting Corrected
Tags deception, lying, deadline, boss, executive
Transcript
CEO: Is the software finished as your boss promised me it would be? Dilbert: I forgot to go to the pre-meeting for this meeting, so I'll guess the answer is.. yes? CEO: Okay, keep up the good work! Dilbert: Thanks goodness he doesn't know what the truth even looks like.
Wednesday April 26,
2017
Culture As An Asset
Friday May 05,
2017
Keeping The Hacker Code
Tags cia, spy, hacking, technology, lying, deception, surveillance, cameras
Transcript
Wally: I hear you were a programmer for the CIA. Did you keep a copy of their hacker code that lets you spy through any digital agency? Erik: Would you believe "no?"
Friday May 26,
2017
Cyborg Rumors
Tags cyborg, robot, employees, replacement, deception, business
Transcript
Dilbert: There's a rumor that you plan to replace all normal employees with cyborgs that have microchips in their brains. Boss: There is no truth to the rumor that I plan to replace defective employees with highly capable, enhanced humanoids. Dilbert: I can't tell if you're lying. Boss: That's actually the best argument for keeping you around.
Friday July 21,
2017
Make It Hard To Uninstall
Tags customer service, business strategy, sales, deception, business
Transcript
Boss: Don't focus so much on making the software do what our customers want it to do. Just make it hard for users to uninstall it. Dilbert: Why would they buy it in the first place? Boss: A big part of our strategy involves lying.


