Marketing Biathlon Comic Strips - Page 13

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

225 Results for Marketing Biathlon

View 121 - 130 results for marketing biathlon comic strips. Discover the best "Marketing Biathlon" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #director of marketing, #ideas, #undercuts authority, #boss, #putrid boss, #bullying, #initative, #hammered

View Transcript

Transcript

"I have a great idea." "I was chatting with the director of marketing and we...." "WHAT?!!" "Never discuss ideas with the director of marketing! Never!" "Erk!" "You work for me! When you talk to others managers it undercuts my authority!" "If I accept ideas from another manager, it's just like he's my boss!" "Amazing! Did you know that your behavior is described on page 27 of the 'Putrid Boss' Book? It's the chapter on killing initiative and bullying!" "That's fascinating. Now let me show you something that isn't in the book." "It looks like someone has been showing initiative." "Please shut up."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil director, #downsizing, #human way, #marketing ones, #giant dung beetle, #ball, #poor performers

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "The downsizing will be handled in the most humane way I could think of." "I hired a giant dung beetle to roll the poor performers into a ball and out the door." "I can't get the marketing ones to stick. They keep sliding off."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vp of marketing, #17 years, #lowering margins, #overseeing campaigns

View Transcript

Transcript

Bob will be leaving us after 17 years as vice president of marketing. "Bob's accomplishments include lowering both our margins and our sales while overseeing a series of confusing marketing campaigns." "I hope you'll all join me in wishing for a piano to fall on his head."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #outsourcing, #design, #communication, #miscommunication, #manufacturing, #obliviousness, #marketing, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

We ship our new mp3 player in two days. How's the Elbonian factory coming along? "The prototype is the size of a small tractor and it will only play Elbonian polkas." "I'll budget a little extra for marketing." "It's made of asbestos."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #best marketing expert, #resume, #nobel prize, #five olympic medals, #marketing biathlon

View Transcript

Transcript

"We need to hire the best marketing expert we can find." "Your resume says you've won the Nobel Prize in marketing, and five Olympic gold medals in the marketing biathlon." "What's a marketing biathlon?" "You ski up to people who won't buy your crap and you shoot them."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #marketing guru, #tractor sized mp3 players, #free ipod, #pricing

View Transcript

Transcript

The Marketing Guru "Consumers will buy our tractor-sized mp3 players if we offer something free with each one." "So we'll offer a free iPod with each sale, and free towing to the landfill for our mp3 player." "The rest is just pricing."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #angelica jolie lips, #mp3 player, #must never soeak

View Transcript

Transcript

The Marketing Guru "Your mp3 player is large and scary, but I can fix that." "All it needs is a set of Angelina Jolie lips and everyone will love it." Six Months Later "We must never speak of this."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Alice, our budget is tight so I've been asked to reward you with non-monetary compensation." "Do you know Ken in marketing? You can punch him as hard as you want." "Does Ken know about this?" "People love surprises."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

There's a little thing I like to do before any meeting with a marketing guy. BONK! "This way there's more congruence between the things you say and the way you look."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Alice, I've received some complaints that you have been bonking the heads of marketing people on tables." "Where else should I bonk their heads? Tables are the best places!!!" "I don't think I'm getting through." "The chair is way too soft!"