Microwave Instead Comic Strips - Page 13

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

148 Results for Microwave Instead

View 121 - 130 results for microwave instead comic strips. Discover the best "Microwave Instead" comics from Dilbert.com.

Standup Meeting

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Standup Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #software, #engineer, #coding, #jargon, #language, #technology, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Are you coming to the standup meeting? Wally: Is it okay if I sit instead? Dilbert: No, that would ruin the software. Dilbert: Did that make sense when I said it? Wally: No, and it isn't aging well either.

Asok Is Offended By Wally

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Is Offended By Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #offense, #insult, #offensive, #fighting, #nonviolent resistance

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I hear you have been comparing yourself to Gandhi, the father of my birth country. That is offensive. It makes me want to punch you. Wally: Have you tried fasting instead? I hear good things about it.

Honest Opinion But Polite

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Honest Opinion But Polite - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #criticism, #political correctness, #politically correct, #company policy, #honesty

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our new politeness policy forbids me from giving you an honest opinion of your idea. So, instead, I will talk about an unrelated topic and you can draw your own conclusions. So... did you hear about the manure fire that burned down a pig farm?

Soul Killing Tasks

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Soul Killing Tasks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work, #pleasure, #toil, #fulfillment, #engagement

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Hey, I have a great idea. Maybe I could work on interesting projects instead of the soul-killing tasks you always assign to me. Boss: Why would I pay you for enjoying yourself? Dilbert: I was not prepared for that question.

Boss Is Not A Quitter

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Is Not A Quitter  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #social media, #internet, #troll, #trolling, #baiting, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: That stupid online troll is insulting me again on social media! I keep defending myself, but instead of agreeing with me, he keeps calling me "defensive" and "pathetic," Carol: Maybe you could stop engaging with him. Boss: I'm not a quitter!

You Heard A Rumor

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 You Heard A Rumor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #consultaion, #insult, #rumor, #divulge source, #dating pillow, #co - workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert consults Dogbert: Nevre insult your co workers directly. The company would fire you for that. Instead say you heard a rumor but you can't divulge your source. Asok: that feels wrong. Dogbert: Someone told me your dating your pillow.

Pretending To Be Helpful

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Pretending To Be Helpful - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #insulting, #coworkers, #consultation, #indirect, #pretend, #helpful, #grammar, #slide deck

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert consults Never insult your co-worers directly. Instead, undermine their confidence by pretending to be helpful. Wally: let me know if you need help fixing the grammar in your slide deck. Alice: what?

Coworkers Who Are Special

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Coworkers Who Are Special  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #consultation, #insults, #fired, #pay, #Advice, #special, #compliment

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert Consults Never call your co-worker a colossal moron, That could get you fired. Instead , say, "well, aren't you special" Dilbert: Are we paying you for this advice? Dogbert: well, aren't you special.

Call My Lost Phone

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Call My Lost Phone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #productivity, #unproductive, #cell phone, #ringing, #frustration, #annoy, #annoyance, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I don't know where I left my phone. Can you call it? Dilbert: Sure, but it will make both of us unproductive instead of just you. Narrator: And then there were three. Alice: Gaaaa!!! Where is that ringing coming from???

Brains In A River

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Brains In A River - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cryogenics, #ethics, #laziness, #yelp, #online review, #comments, #feedback, #customers

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Being the owner of a cryogenic investment firm is a lot of work. So instead of keeping my customers' brains frozen, I decided to toss them in the river and hope no one notices. The best kind of customers are the ones who can't write bad Yelp! reviews.