Primal Screams Comic Strips - Page 13

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View 121 - 125 results for primal screams comic strips. Discover the best "Primal Screams" comics from Dilbert.com.

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Share September 02, 2001's comic on:


Tags #new sales manager, #pig boy, #makes inappropriate comments, #employment screening process, #inappropriate comments, #swear, #date one eyed carpenter

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Alice is sitting at her desk. The Boss approaches from behind and says, "Alice, meet our new sales manager." Alice stands up. The Pigboy enters and stands next to The Boss. The Boss says, "He's a Pigboy who makes inappropriate comments every five minutes." The Boss turns to the Pigboy and says, "Somehow he slipped through our rigorous employment screening process." The Boss looks at his watch and says, "Whoa! His five minutes are up." The Pigboy starts, "So Alice..." Blocking the rest of the Pigboy's comment is "Inappropriate Comment Deleted." The Boss is chuckling. Alice says, "That was very clever. Now let me try one." Alice's pushes The Boss out of the way and screams profanity at the Pigboy. Her comment is also blocked by, "Inappropriate Comment Deleted." The Pigboy's head has exploded. Visibly frazzled, The Boss turns to Alice and asks, "How did you learn to swear like that?" Alice responds, "I used to date a one-eyed carpenter."

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Share August 25, 2002's comic on:


Tags #make box bluer, #micromanaging, #blood smaple, #microscope, #manage cellular level, #erwin schrodinger, #quantum level, #free gifts, #white blood cells, #say hi

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Alice is sitting at her computer. The Boss approaches and says, "Make the box bluer." The Boss continues, "A little more.. A little more... A little more.." Alice interrupts, "That's it!!" Alice opens her drawer and exclaims, "When you get tired of micromanaging me..." Alice hands The Boss a cup of blood and continues, "Put this sample of my blood under a microscope so you can manage me on a cellular level." Alice continues yelling, "And here's a book by Erwin Schrodinger in case you'd like to manage me on a quantum level!" Alice screams, "Do you understand what I'm saying?" The Boss walks out carrying the blood sample and book. He thinks, "Free gifts." The Boss sits at his desk and says to the blood sample, "Now I want all of you white blood cells to spell 'Hi.'"

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Share December 22, 2002's comic on:


Tags #how to be annoying, #nasal sounds, #rainstorm, #sugar donught, #oil on fingers, #leaky coffee mug

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Headline: The Adventures of Paul Ooshen* (*Say it fast). Paul sits at his computer and looks down at his watch. Paul squirts a perfume bottle towards his face. He thinks, "Aaah... The scent of a hog farm in a rainstorm." Paul rubs in fingers in an oil puddle on his desk and thinks, "Oil for fingers." Paul holds up a sandwich and thinks, "Onion sandwich." Paul snorts his nose and thinks, "Annoying nasal sounds." Paul pours coffee into a mug and thinks, "Leaky coffee mug.. I'm ready for my meeting." Paul enters Alice's cubicle and scratches his nails down her computer screen. Alice screams, "Yes! Yes! I agree to everything! Please leave!" Paul walks away and thinks, "I didn't even need to lean over her keyboard with my sugar donut."

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Share August 08, 2005's comic on:


Tags #good news, #Promotion, #you didn't get it, #misogyny, #screams

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The boss: I have good news about the promotion you wanted: You didn't get it! Alice: "HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY CALL THAT GOOD NEWS?" The boss: "They don't like positivity."

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Share March 17, 2006's comic on:


Tags #loud guy section, #no loud guy, #date, #man screams, #stories, #noise, #restaurant, #customers, #hostess, #table nearby

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Would you like to be seated in the loud guy section or no loud guy? Menu "They both sound good. We'll try the loud guy section." "I hope he has good stories." "AND THEN!"