Quality Assurance Group Comic Strips - Page 13

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256 Results for Quality Assurance Group

View 121 - 130 results for quality assurance group comic strips. Discover the best "Quality Assurance Group" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 1999's comic on:


Tags #exiled, #quality assurance, #doomed career, #old dept., #engineering, #break time

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Asok: im exiled yto the quality assurance department, My career is doomed. I can't let my old department forget me. They're my only hope of returning to engineering, It must be break time in the QA department, Wally: I'll get the fire hose,

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 1999's comic on:


Tags #quality assurance, #secretary assistant, #intern, #yell at kids, #curising, #no cursing

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Asok sits next to Carol at her desk. Dilbert says, "Asok! Did you escape your job in quality assurance?" Asok says, "Yes, I had to take a job as a secretary's assistant. I'll work my way back up to intern." Carol hands Asok the phone and says, "It's four o'clock. Call my kids and yell at them." ASok says, "Cursing or no cursing?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 12, 1999's comic on:


Tags #after 5 club, #select group, #employees, #creative ideas, #club for people, #during business hours, #business

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The Boss says to Wally, who is seated at his computer, "Wally, you are invited to my new 'after-5 club.'" The Boss says, "A select group of employees will meet after work to think of creative ideas." Wally turns to The Boss and says, "Is there a club for people who know how to think during business hours?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 1999's comic on:


Tags #compensation, #manage, #career as director, #conpsiracy, #incompetent emplyees

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Catbert stands on The Bosses desk and says, "Your compensation is related to the number of people you manage." Catbert says, "Likewise, my career as director of human resources depends on the quantity of employees." Alice and Dilbert look at a group of dumb people. Alice says, "It's as if there were a conspiracy to hire hordes of incompetent employees."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 07, 1999's comic on:


Tags #newly designated, #fire warden, #bitter, #assignment, #regular job, #last one out, #safety, #fire, #panic, #flushing self, #exit door

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Wally is standing at a large pad with the word "SAFETY" on it, heading a meeting. Wally says, "I'm the newly designated fire warden for this floor." Wally continues, "You might expect me to be bitter about this assignment." ..."Granted, it tells the world I wasn't productive at my regular job." The group looks on as Wally continues, "And if the building burns, I'm expected to be the last one out." Turning over the page on the pad saying, "But my only concern is your safety. The large pad now reveals a sketch of three little stick figures running with the word "AAAGH!" above them. Wally explains, "In the event of a fire, don't be too proud to panic." The next page is a sketch of a stick figure, flying head first, into a toilet. Wally says, "If the windows won't open, try flushing yourself to safety. ..."And never, ever get between me and the exit door." The boss interrupts, "Wally..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 20, 1999's comic on:


Tags #hacker, #broke into system, #corporate startegy, #post it, #internet, #email address, #technology

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The boss, Dilbert, Alice and Wally are in a meeting. The boss is looking at a piece of paper and says to the group, "A hacker broke into our system and found out our corporate strategy." Dilbert asks, "Did he post it on the internet? I'd like to read it." Dilbert continues, "I'm also curious about my objectives for the year. Do you have the guy's e-mail address?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 25, 1999's comic on:


Tags #the turnaround ceo, #work of 10 people, #strategic planning, #traitorous mole

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The Turnaround CEO Dilbert is standing in front of the CEO's desk saying, "If you let me keep my job, I'll do the work of ten people." The CEO looks like the devil. Dilbert goes on, "Specifically, it would be the ten people in our strategic planning group." Dilbert says, "They don't do much." The CEO replies, "I'd like you to be my traitorous mole."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 2000's comic on:


Tags #bait and switch, #assisting eddie, #never see again

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The boss, Wally, Dilbert and a new consultant are in a meeting. The boss says: "I hired the "Bait and Switch" consulting group because they're so smart." The consultant says to the boss while introducing him to a very messy looking man: "I'm assigning Eddie to work on your account. You will never see me again." Eddie sits in front of the boss and says: "So, what is it that you do here?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 06, 2000's comic on:


Tags #product is defective, #expect delivery, #quality s primary goal, #opposite of philosophy, #rich philosophers, #swiss bank

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Dilbert tells the Boss while handing him some documents: "My tests prove our product is defective." While the Boss is examining the documents, Dilbert says: "Customers expect delivery tomorrow." Handing the documents back to Dilbert, the Boss says: "Our corporate philosophy is 'Quality is our primary goal.'" Dilbert asks: "So... you want me to delay shipment until we fix the problems?" The Boss answers: "No." The Boss says: "I want you to ship now so we can book the revenue." Dilbert exclaims: "GAAA! That's the opposite of our corporate philosophy!!!" The Boss replies: "Now you know why there aren't any rich philosophers." Reclining on the couch at home with Dogbert, Dogbert tells Dilbert: "There used to be one, but he believed I was a Swiss bank."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 2000's comic on:


Tags #website, #business case, #web productivity commitee, #technology

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Dilbert tells the Boss who is sitting behind his desk: "I need to see a web site that's blocked by our I.S. Group." The Boss replies: "Submit a business case to the Web Productivity and Security Committee." A snail approaches Dilbert while he is typing at his terminal and says to him: "Hey, bro, where's your shell? This ain't casual day."