Repair Guy Comic Strips - Page 13

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

377 Results for Repair Guy

View 121 - 130 results for repair guy comic strips. Discover the best "Repair Guy" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #upgarding, #sales support, #unlock lexus, #guy down hall, #owns lexus

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Ed, "I finished upgrading the sales support network." Ed responds angrily, "Is that why I can't unlock my Lexus?!!" Dilbert replies, "You don't own a Lexus. You only look like a guy down the hall who owns one." Ed answers, "I hate that guy."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #judging people, #meet new guy, #training him, #giant amoeba

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: dilbert , meet the new guy. Dilbert: You hired a giant amoeba? The Boss: You can't go around judging people by their looks. The Boss: Would you mind... Dilbert: Training him? Boss: Keeping him moist?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #single cell organism, #new hire, #break room, #pretending

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: So, I hear you're a single cell organism. Whats up with that? Alice: The new guy is rolling into a ball and shedding water. Dilbert: Been there.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mapped genome, #hr dept, #had resources, #pencil, #technology, #predictions from genes, #genome, #dna, #work perfromance, #traits, #violation of rights

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert approaches Wally and says, "I mapped your genome Wally." Wally replies, "I didn't know the human resources department had that technology." Catbert responds, "I used a pencil." Wally says to Catbert, "Your genes predict that you will be a bitter, lazy, caucasian guy with six hairs and poor vision." Catbert answers, "You'll hate cubicles, measurable objectives, and cats who map your genome." Wally says to Catbert, "This is a violation of my right to privacy! I'll fight it all the way to the Supreme Court." Catbert responds, "No, according to my map, you'll lose interest and fall asleep." Catbert says to Wally as he sleeps, "I wonder if this technology will ever fall into the wrong hands."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #payroll problem, #wrong person, #speak with supervisor, #forward call

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, on the phone, says, "I'm trying to find someone who can help me with a payroll problem." A worker on the phone says, "You're close. I'm the guy who forwards your call to the wrong person." Dilbert says, "I'd like to speak with your supervisor." The voice on the other end of the line says, "I'll forward your call."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new guy, #rude or shy, #rudy, #shilo, #don't know name, #boss introductions, #no one knows, #name him

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss is standing with a worker and says to Dilbert, "Here's the new guy. I don't know his name." The boss continues, "He's either rude or shy. No one knows for sure." The boss says, "If you figure it out, name hime either Shilo or Rudy."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tips today, #how much, #three breath mints, #death threat, #scrawled napkin, #napkin guy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Wally are both wearing aprons. Dilbert, counting money, asks Wally, "How much did you make in tips today?" Wally says, "Three breath mints and one death threat scrawled on a napkin." Wally says to Dilbert, "I hope I don't forget which breath mint came from the napkin guy."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #away from job, #blah blah, #cell phones, #jurors, #jury duty, #jury room, #read book, #talking

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: AAHH, One week away from my job. Jury room Dilbert: I'll have hours of quiet time to read my new book, woman: There's a guy here with a book.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers brain, #like pump, #prime it, #learns first, #form foundation, #future perceptions, #talking smack

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert and Dilbert watch The Boss who is in a coma at his desk. Catbert says, "A manager's brain is like a pump. If it becomes empty you must prime it." Catbert says to Dilbert, "Whatever he learns first will form the foundation for all of his future perceptions." Catbert points at Dilbert and says to The Boss, "This guy has been talking smack about you." The Boss begins to come to, saying, "Unh..."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cockeyed, #creepy guy, #fail, #good work, #hired creep, #products features, #cape, #cane

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: I hired a creep to help determine our products features. Creep: You need more features. The Boss: Good work. The boss;:When can you have that done? Dilbert: GAAA!!!