Signed To Everyone Comic Strips - Page 13

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

300 Results for Signed To Everyone

View 121 - 130 results for signed to everyone comic strips. Discover the best "Signed To Everyone" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 20, 2003's comic on:


Tags #worthless fat, #everyone participates

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss addresses a meeting, "How can we eliminate $200,000 of worthless fat?" The Boss exclaims, "Wow! Every hand went up. I like it when everyone participates!" The Boss is sitting at his desk. He says to Catbert, "So it turns out that it's better when no one participates."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 26, 2003's comic on:


Tags #subatomic particle, #statisfied cutomers, #arthur quark, #george meaon, #signed certificate

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: "For five hundred dollars, I'll name a subatomic particle after you." "Some of my satisfied customers include Arthur C. Quark, and George Meson." "It comes with an unsigned certificate!" Dilbert: "I like 'em clean."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 2003's comic on:


Tags #charging hours to project, #one meeting, #one hour, #extensive preparation, #evaluated, #57 hours, #sat quiet, #charging

View Transcript

Transcript

"Wally, why have you been charging all of your hours to my project?" "I invited you to one meeting. It lasted one hour." "Do you think I would go to a meeting without extensive preparation?" "Okay.. that's another hour." "How many more do you need explained?" "Fifty-eight." "After the meeting, I sat quietly and evaluated what everyone said. That took fity-seven hours." "Ha! You're still an hour short. Explain THAT!" "Do you mind if I sit quietly and think about that question for a while?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 2003's comic on:


Tags #budget request, #priority, #highest priority, #mockery, #low priority

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: What is the priority of your budget request? Alice: Highest of the high. Asok: everyone rated their own budget needs "Highest Priority" It is a mockery f the priority system! Asok: Name one thing that everyone would agree is a low priority. Alice: whatever you're doing.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 2003's comic on:


Tags #everyones opinion, #Advice, #best job, #crazy ideas, #mental, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: "I'll get everyone's opinion, and then I'll make my decision." Alice: "Translation: you'll take the advice of whoever does the best job of trash-talking everyone else." The Boss: "Where do you get these crazy ideas?" Dilbert: "She's mental."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 30, 2003's comic on:


Tags #key board, #not unique, #carol adjusts, #making no sense

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: My keyboard looks exactly like everyone else's. The Boss: I need more of a management key board with special keys and that sort of thing. Carol: And the "{" becomes the newly discovered letter.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 21, 2003's comic on:


Tags #nano bit project, #Dilbert, #take over, #everyone busy, #face in allaegators, #one cracker a day, #cracker time, #quitting tomorrow, #four problems

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: "I don't have time to work on the nanobit project." The Boss: "No problem. Tell Dilbert I said he should take over." Two minutes later Dilbert: "I'm way, way too busy." The Boss: "Fine. Tell Wally to do it." Two minutes later. Wally: "I'm up to your face in alligators!" The Boss: "Okay, okay... hand it off to Asok." Two minutes later. Asok: "But already I only have time to eat one cracker a day." The Boss: "Tell Ted I said.." Ted: "Sure, I'll do it. No problem." Asok: "Mmm.. cracker time." Ted: "I'm quitting tomorrow." The Boss: "I solved four problems today!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 2003's comic on:


Tags #egos, #europe to denver, #lies, #made up, #management retreat, #middle management, #press release, #top

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I can't imagine you told everyone at the management retreat.... But our marketing department issued press release sago were designing a tunnel linking Europe to Denver. FLASHBACK Man: Im installing a new sprinkler system in my lawn. The boss: Must top.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 09, 2003's comic on:


Tags #company t shirt, #not for temps, #contractors, #vendors, #not size, #downsized, #leftover garage rags, #morale

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Everyone gets a company shirt! Its good for morale. The Boss: opps! Not for temps. None for contractors. Not for vendors. Nothing in your size. Not for people who might get down sized on Friday. I'lluse the leftovers as garage rags. CatBert: Did the shorts improve morale? The Boss: Sure did! I feel great!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 2003's comic on:


Tags #downsized, #gag gifts, #goodby lunch, #not retired, #tuesday, #party, #gifts, #mean soirited, #office party

View Transcript

Transcript

CaroL; "I scheduled your goodbye lunch for Tuesday." Alice: "I can't make it on Tuesday." Carol: "It's too late to change it. Everyone already bought your gag gifts." Alice: "Gag gifts?? I'm not retiring; I got downsized!" Asok: "Congratulations, Alice! Hee-hee!!"