Ten Comic Strips - Page 13

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View 121 - 130 results for ten comic strips. Discover the best "Ten" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #resume, #teds, #shard printer, #people pleaser, #disloyal

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"Is that your resume?" "It's Ted's." "When the pointy-haired boss walks toward the shared printer, I print ten copies." "It turns out that I'm not a people pleaser." "Disloyal #!@*!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Google Headquarters "Isn't it a little bit evil to kill Dilbert with our death ray?" "Good point...What if I just blast the space station out of orbit and make it land on his house?" "I'll bet you ten billion dollars you can't." "And the lower has to introduce himself as 'the dumb one.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Smokin' Jim "I've got a nicotine addiction, a tiny bladder, and attention deficit disorder." "So talk fast because I can't focus for more than ten seconds." "Gaa! I have to give that warning faster!!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Welcome to Dogbert's accelerated sales training course." "Today you will learn how a person can simultaneously drink and golf." "What will we learn tomorrow?" "Tomorrow? What part of 'accelerated' is confusing you?" "As you know, the hard part about drinking and golfing is that they both require your hands." "That's why I invented the sportsman's beer muzzle." "Give this to your client and the sale will practically make itself." "Ooh!" "Ooh!" "Ooh!" "This ish the besht day of my life!" "I'll put you down for ten pallets of mouse pads."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"I'm like the story of the auto mechanic." "A woman has her car towed into the shop. The mechanic opens the hood and takes a look." "After about ten seconds he takes a hammer and taps the engine. It starts right up." "The mechanic says, 'That will be $100, please.'" Zzzzz "The woman says, '$100??? All you did was tap the engine!'" "The mechanic says, 'It's $90 for knowing where to tap and $10 for the tap.'" zzzzz TAP! "20 years ago I wouldn't have known which one of you to tap."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Wally in Marketing "According to my market research, ninety percent of your customers..." "...'fantasize about beating you to death with your stupid product.'" "What about the other ten percent?" "They asked for your company address but didn't say why."

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We've got a dead guy in cubicle D-32. "Uh-oh." "Do you have any idea how much paperwork it causes when someone dies in one of my cubicles?" "Ten more feet to the marketing department."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hired nancy, #lightening, #can't strike, #lighting strike, #invites problems, #medical school, #cadaver

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I hired Nancy because she's had so many personal problems in the past year. "I figure lightning can't strike the same place more than ten or twelve times in a row." "It's not as if she invites problems." "I'm in love with a medical school cadaver!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new vp of marketing, #improve revenues, #ridiculous lie, #gullible moron, #he believed it, #touche

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The Boss: Our new VP of marketing promises to improve our revenues by ten billion percent! Alice: "That is a ridiculous lie that only a gullible moron would believe." Dogbeet: "Oh yeah? How do you explain the fact that HE believed it?" The boss: "Touche"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #2 hours late, #work late, #alleged loyalty, #company loyalty

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The Boss: "Wally, it's ten o'clock. You're supposed to start at eight." Wally: "That's because I plan to work for two unverifiable hours after you leave tonight." "My alleged loyalty to this company is second to none."