Time Travel Comic Strips - Page 13
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Dogbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "So, you're a time management expert huh? Might be useful . . . I'll let you know . . ." Dogbert screams, "Decide now! Do it! Do it, do it! Now now now now!" The Boss says, "You're good . . . When can you start?" Dogbert replies, "I'll get back to you."
Dogbert stands on a stage holding a microphone. He addresses the audience, "Welcome to the 'Dogbert Time Management Lecture Series.'" Dogbert continues, "Sorry I'm an hour late, but I was giving another lecture across town . . . In effect, I'll complete two jobs while you sit in the dark like stunned cattle." Dogbert looks down at the audience and says, "I don't mean to rub it in, but mooo . . . "
Dogbert stands on a chair across from the Boss's desk. Dogbert says, "I'm afraid your company is being hit by an El Nino Circadian trough." Dogbert continues, "Once a decade, the natural body rhythms of all the employees reach their mental low point at the same time." Dogbert continues, "It's best to avoid any form of mental activity." The Boss yells, "Staff meeting!"
Dogbert sits on the hassock watching tv. Dilbert says, "You should read books instead of watching television all the time, Dogbert." Dogbert asks, "Why?" Dilbert replies, "Books are more educational because they don't have any sound or pictures." Dilbert continues, "And books are challenging because it takes hours to read something that television could convey with one image." Dilbert continues, "And books make you think because they have more complex plots." Dilbert continues, "In fact, you can read entire books without even figuring out what the story was about." Dilbert continues, "Now compare that with all the junk you're watching." Dogbert says, "I just watched the story of how DNA was discovered, then learned to bake a cake from scratch, and now I'm learning the causes of global warming." Dogbert asks, "What are you reading?" Dilbert replies, "It's called 'The Poodle Who Killed.'"
A man in a cape says to Dogbert who is followed by two reporters, "Stop! I am the 'Amazing Ronny,' famous skeptic and debunker." Ronny continues, "I will prove to the media that you're not a powerful space alien at all." Ronny puts on a hat with antennae like Dogbert's and says, "See how easily the media were duped?" One reporter says to the other, "There's still time to interview the cow who does algebra." Dogbert growls at Ronny.
The Boss, Alice, Dilbert, Ted and a woman sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Our video game division has reached a sales plateau." The Boss continues, "Kids are spending more time outside these days. There's only one thing we can do." Dilbert asks, "Diversify?" The Boss replies, "Pollute!"
Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I thought you might need help deciding what to get me for Christmas." Dogbert says, "I started by doing a complete analysis of your financial situation." Dogbert continues, "Your utter lack of a social life has resulted in significant cash reserves." Dogbert continues, "That combined with a second mortgage would make $50,000 available for my gift." Dilbert says, "I bought you a hat." Dogbert looks at Dilbert. Dilbert says, "It was on sale." Dogbert walks away saying, "It seems that every year at about this time I feel like beating somebody senseless with a yule log."
The Boss holds a box and says to Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "Everybody take one and fasten it securely around your head." Dilbert, Wally and Alice wear receivers on their heads. The Boss explains, "From time to time I'll use my 'Belt-O-Authority' to send you painful electric shocks." Dilbert asks, "When our performance is bad?" The Boss replies, "That's one theory, sure."
The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and a woman sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "First on the agenda is a discussion of the company's new paper recycling program." Dilbert looks at the agenda and says, "We talked about that last time . . . Hey, this is last week's agenda." The Boss replies, "You spotted the one drawback."