Walk Past Comic Strips - Page 13

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

300 Results for Walk Past

View 121 - 130 results for walk past comic strips. Discover the best "Walk Past" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pass inspection, #pays inspector, #dogbert inspector

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at a table and Dogbert stands on it. Dogbert says, "I understand it's your job to make sure your company can pass an ISO 14000 inspection." Dogbert says, "And I understand that your company pays the inspector for each inspection." Dilbert says, "So?" Caption: Dogbert: ISO 14000 Inspector. Dogbert holds a clipboard and says, "You fail again. That ten thousand dollars please." Dilbert says, "Next time could you actually walk around and look at stuff?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #mutual fund, #past performance, #no indication, #future perfromance, #strategy, #entire investment, #personal expenses, #talking to wall

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits behind a large desk. He says to a potential investor, "As you know, past performance is no indication of future performance." Dogbert continues, "So my strategy is to use your entire investment for my personal expenses and see what happens." The investor says, "Has that strategy ever worked before?" Dogbert says, "Geez, it's like I'm talking to a wall here."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #compliments, #compliments list, #everything you say, #lower opinion, #analyze identity

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and Dilbert go for a walk. Dogbert says, "When you're with a woman, everything you say will lower her opinion of you." Dilbert says, "But, I can give her compliments, right?" Dogbert's ears standon end. He says, "No! That's the worst thing." Dogbert says, "Women keep a log of all compliments. They analyze the pattern to identify negative trends." Dilbert says, "Should I use my real name?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lower opinion, #time bombs, #ruin magic, #kill me, #one kiss, #no tongue

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and his date go for a walk, holding hands. She says, "Sooner or later you'll say something that will lower my opinion of you." Dilbert grunts. She says, "Men are like bombs. At any moment you'll say something that will ruin the magic." Dilbert slips and says, "I'm an engineer." She screams, "Aaaaargh! Kill me! Kill me!" He says, "I'll give you one kiss. No tongue."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #beg food, #carpet, #cubicle, #dog collar, #invisible boundary, #mark boundary, #mild shock, #new guy, #new hire, #offcie, #high tech device

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss and Bruce walk by a cubicle. The Boss says, "We don't have a cubicle available for you yet, Bruce." The Boss says, "So I'm declaring this part of the carpet to be your office." The Boss says, "If someone goes to a meeting, you can sneak into his cubicle and use the phone." The Boss says, "Our computer budget is gone, but we have an old monitor that you can put on top of your briefcase." Bruce says, "Can I put tape on the carpet to mark my boundary?" The Boss says, "That won't be necessary, thanks to this hi-tech device." Bruce says, "A dog collar?" The Boss puts the collar around Bruce's neck. The Boss says, "It will give a mild shock if you cross your invisible boundary." Alice says, "The new guy hasn't left that spot for a week." Dilbert says, "Wally taught him to beg for food."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #drunk, #out of control, #on a date, #can't get date, #whose idea

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, dressed in a coat, is strolling with Dogbert. Dilbert says, "I'll never get drunk. I don't want to be out of control." Dogert asks, "Are you in control at work?" Dilbert answers, "Well.....no." Dogbert asks, "Are you in control when you're on a date?" Dilbert responds, "I can't get a date." Dogbert continues, "And whose idea was it to go on this walk?" Dilbert answers,"Yours." Dilbert lifts Dogbert up on a rock to sit. Dilbert asks, "Are you saying that I should get drunk?" Dogbert answers, "No,no." Dogbert continues, "I'm saying the decision will be made by the beer companies." A seated Dilbert responds, "I hope they say that it's okay."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #walk at lunch, #bomb threat, #hoax, #yesterday, #low morale, #lottery ticket, #potential irony

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Did you go for a walk at lunch?" The Boss is wearing an over coat. He says, "Not exactly." The Boss hangs his coat on a caot rack and says, "I got a bomb threat. I didn't tell anyone else, just in case it was a hoax. Dilbert says, "It was only yesterday that I was saying my morale couldn't be any lower." The Boss sits behind his desk and says, "I bought a lottery ticket to increase the potential irony."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bred, #work in cubicle, #personal life, #stealing, #good square meal, #square head

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Wally, "Wally, this is Rex Tangle, our newest employee." Rex is completely square, with flat sides to his head and torso. The Boss says, "Rex was specially bred to work in a cubicle." Wally says, "Looks like he'll fit right in." The Boss says, "Ask him about his personal life." Wally says, "Rex, how's your personal life?" Rex says, "I don't have one. That would be like stealing from the company." A little heart showing love floats above The Boss's head. Wally and Rex walk off. Wally asks, "So, do you eat lunch?" Rex says, "I would enjoy a good square meal." Dilbert and alice are sitting in the company cafeteria eating their lunches. Wally says, "Meet the future." Rex says, "Hello, you round pegs!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technical recomendation, #useless and weak, #decisions, #helvetica font, #wrong, #coach, #wally and boss, #desk

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally stick his head into The Boss's office he is holding a piece of paper. Wally says, "I finished the technical recommendation you requested." Wally gives the report to The Boss. Wally says, "At first I was miffed that you told me what recommendation you wanted." Wally explains, "It made me feel useless and weak." The Boss reads the recommendation. Wally says, "But rather than dwell on my powerlessness." Wally raises his arm, enpowered. Wally says, "I decided to find joy in the one decision that I CAN make." Wally says, "I chose a Helvetica type font. And I never looked back." The Boss says, "Oh, that's what's wrong with it." The Boss thinks, "I coach and I coach, but they still walk out of here all rubber-legged."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gullible fool, #sens anonymous letter, #curse of dogbert, #future senders, #chain letters, #wally flinch

View Transcript

Transcript

Swami Doghbert is at the staff meeting with Dilbert, The Boss and Wally. He wears a turban wth a cresent moon on it and says, "I've been hired to find the gullible fool who continues to send anonymous chain letters to everyone." Dogbert waves his hands in the air and says, "I place the Curse of Dogbert on all past and future senders of chain letters." The Boss looks like Dogbert (dog ears and dog nose) and says, "I think I saw Wally flinch." Dogbert and Dilbert stare at him.