Waste Of Time Comic Strips - Page 13

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View 121 - 130 results for waste of time comic strips. Discover the best "Waste Of Time" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, emotion, Dogbert, mood, e.t., neighbor, cat, fat, fool, academy, best, dog, frozen, lavatory, imagine, passing, sorrow

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Dilbert points a video camera at Dogbert and says, "Let's see some emotion, Dogbert." Dogbert says, "I need to be in the mood." Dilbert says, "Remember when it looked like 'E.T.' died, but really he didn't?" Dogbert sniffs like he is about to cry. Dilbert says, "The neighbor's cat says you're fat." Dogbert says angrily, "The fool!" Dilbert says, "Imagine you won an academy award for 'Best Dog.'" Dogbert looks surprised and says, "Me?!!" Dilbert says, "Imagine some frozen lavatory waste from a passing jet crashes through the roof and flattens me as I film this." Dogbert falls over and laughs. Dilbert asks, "Is that sorrow? It doesn't look like sorrow." Dogbert thinks, "Oops."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, read, books, televsision, Dogbert, educational, sound, pictures, challenging, television, convey, complex, entire, story, discovered, scratch, global, warming, poodle

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Dogbert sits on the hassock watching tv. Dilbert says, "You should read books instead of watching television all the time, Dogbert." Dogbert asks, "Why?" Dilbert replies, "Books are more educational because they don't have any sound or pictures." Dilbert continues, "And books are challenging because it takes hours to read something that television could convey with one image." Dilbert continues, "And books make you think because they have more complex plots." Dilbert continues, "In fact, you can read entire books without even figuring out what the story was about." Dilbert continues, "Now compare that with all the junk you're watching." Dogbert says, "I just watched the story of how DNA was discovered, then learned to bake a cake from scratch, and now I'm learning the causes of global warming." Dogbert asks, "What are you reading?" Dilbert replies, "It's called 'The Poodle Who Killed.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, beavers, busy, time, common, stereotype, lazy, build, home, rent

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Dogbert: I always thought you beavers were busy all the time. Beaver: That's a common stereotype. I'm actually quite lazy. Dogbert: How do you build your beaver home? Beaver: I rent.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, amazing ronny, famous, skeptic, debunker, media, space, alien, cow, algebra, interview

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A man in a cape says to Dogbert who is followed by two reporters, "Stop! I am the 'Amazing Ronny,' famous skeptic and debunker." Ronny continues, "I will prove to the media that you're not a powerful space alien at all." Ronny puts on a hat with antennae like Dogbert's and says, "See how easily the media were duped?" One reporter says to the other, "There's still time to interview the cow who does algebra." Dogbert growls at Ronny.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss, alice, Dilbert, video game, plateau, Kids, outside, diversify, pollute

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The Boss, Alice, Dilbert, Ted and a woman sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Our video game division has reached a sales plateau." The Boss continues, "Kids are spending more time outside these days. There's only one thing we can do." Dilbert asks, "Diversify?" The Boss replies, "Pollute!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags finances, violence, Dilbert, christmas, social, life, mortgage, gift, hat, sale, yule, log

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Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I thought you might need help deciding what to get me for Christmas." Dogbert says, "I started by doing a complete analysis of your financial situation." Dogbert continues, "Your utter lack of a social life has resulted in significant cash reserves." Dogbert continues, "That combined with a second mortgage would make $50,000 available for my gift." Dilbert says, "I bought you a hat." Dogbert looks at Dilbert. Dilbert says, "It was on sale." Dogbert walks away saying, "It seems that every year at about this time I feel like beating somebody senseless with a yule log."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Wally, alice, the boss, head, belt-o-authority, electric, shocks, performance, theory

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The Boss holds a box and says to Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "Everybody take one and fasten it securely around your head." Dilbert, Wally and Alice wear receivers on their heads. The Boss explains, "From time to time I'll use my 'Belt-O-Authority' to send you painful electric shocks." Dilbert asks, "When our performance is bad?" The Boss replies, "That's one theory, sure."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Wally, the boss, agenda, discussion, paper, recycling, program, drawback

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The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and a woman sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "First on the agenda is a discussion of the company's new paper recycling program." Dilbert looks at the agenda and says, "We talked about that last time . . . Hey, this is last week's agenda." The Boss replies, "You spotted the one drawback."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, alice, Dogbert, plan, techincally, easible, scoff, snort, breat, headcount, proffesional, credibility, risks, engineer

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Dilbert sits at a conference table with three other people. A man says, "Maybe Dilbert can tell us if our plan is technically feasible." Dilbert thinks, "For dramatic effect I'll scoff loudly." Dilbert thinks, "I'll just sort of laugh and snort and take a breath at the same time." Dilbert makes a strange noise. Dilbert thinks, "Oh no! Some spittle went down my air pipe . . . I'm choking." Dilbert falls over in his chair and makes choking noises. A woman asks, "Should we do something?" A man replies, "We're over our headcount, you know." Back at home, Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . And so I survived, but my professional credibility took a hit." Dogbert replies, "You knew the risks when you became an engineer."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cars, clean, letters, express, outrage, editor, Funny, pages, sarcasm, children, Dilbert, Dogbert, time

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The caption says, "Their cars are always clean." A man polishes his car with a cloth. The caption says, "They write letters to express their outrage." A man sits at a table with an open newspaper next to him. The man writes, "Dear Editor, The funny pages is no place for sarcasm! Think about the CHILDREN!" The caption says, "They read the same book more than once." Dilbert sits in his chair reading a book and laughing. Dogbert says, "They are the people with way too much time on their hands."