Wrong Comic Strips - Page 13

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347 Results for Wrong

View 121 - 130 results for wrong comic strips. Discover the best "Wrong" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags online ereume, older chubby men, key words, married men, job offers, cousin, Advice, one line job hunting

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"I wasn't getting any responses to my online resume until I inserted some key words." "I said I'm strangely attracted to older, chubby, married men with coffee-stained teeth." "That is wrong on so many levels." "Explain that to my six thousand job offers."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags response to letter, apologize, admits error, starting war, mean spirit, hating minorities

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Carol: "Hey, I got a response from the newspaper columnist I reamed for misusing the word "dongle."" ""Dear Nutbag... Link to a dictionary..." Um... Oops... It appears that I was wrong." "Now do you apologize?" "Plan B: I accuse him of hating minorities."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags die die, evil eye, respect, sat down wrong, wedgie

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Tina: He doesn't respect my work. I can tell by the way he's sitting. "Two can play this game. I will hate you with the fury of a thousand suns!" "Die! Die! Die~" Dilbert: "Rats. I sat down wrong and gave myself a wedgie."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags emotionally unstable coworkers, prescribe meds, wrong choice, defects

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Dogbert: All of your problems are caused by emotionally unstable coworkers. "Try prescribing meds from the internet to fix their defects." Dilbert: Okay. That one was the wrong choice. Let's try something else." The Boss: "GRRRR!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ceo, limo, miss pennington, harold, rat bert, surgery, medical

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Ratbert the CEO "Miss Pennington, have my driver fetch the limo." "My name isn't Miss Pennington. It's Harold." "And?" "Um...and...I'll have it legally changed to Miss Pennington so you won't be wrong." "Plus the surgery."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags do something, let you know, spitting on forehead, whats worng

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"When you do something that I don't like, I'll let you know by cursing and then spitting on your forehead." "Maybe you could just tell me what I did wrong." "#*$@!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags wrong budget, no probelms, unrealitic, failure, deceptive forecstas, believe the lie, deception, optimism, few hours, perfect budget

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"This budget would only work if the project encountered no problems whatsoever." "So?" "All projects have unexpected problems. Therefore, this budget is almost certainly wrong." "Leaders do not plan for failure." "Do leaders make deceptive forecasts and later act shocked when things don't work out?" "No." "A leader first makes himself believe the lie, thus turning deception into an inspiring form of optimism. Observe." "GAAA!!! BELIEVE! BELIEVE!" "The swelling will go down in a few hours. Then we'll have a perfect budget." "What?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags project post mortem, colossal ineptitude, natural talents, unfocused honest

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The boss: "The project post-mortem will only be helpful if each of you is honest about what went wrong." "Your colossal ineptitude as a leader suppressed our natural talents, leaving us listless and unfocused." "And by 'honest', I mean blaming people who aren't here." "Look! You're doing it again!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Carol, shred this." "The shredder is right behind you, next to the fax." "What if I do it wrong?" "Only a complete moron could do it wrong." "Um...I think I might have just faxed our strategy someplace." "And that's why you never see a water fountain in a men's restroom."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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I want to get a good base tan before I take my vacation. "That'll prevent me from getting a sunburn when I go to the beach." "I think it's a myth that a base tan can protect you from sunburns." "You are so wrong! Let's make a bet. The loser has to jump into that freezing pond." "Fine. I'll do a search on my wireless computer. Here you go: A base tan provides only a negligible SPF 4 protection." "I'm not jumping into that freezing pond." PUSH "You were already ignorant and contentious. I didn't want you to be a welcher too."