Bad Decisions Comic Strips - Page 13
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771 Results for Bad Decisions
View 121 - 130 results for bad decisions comic strips. Discover the best "Bad Decisions" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday December 02,
2016
Brain Fragments
Tags bored, boredom, health, mundane
Transcript
Dilbert: I need to take an extended medical leave to recover from a boredom-related injury at work. You gave ma a task so boring that my brain tried to escape through my lower gastrointestinal tract. Boss: I'm sure it wasn't that bad. Dilbert: I found brain fragments in my pants.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Tuesday November 15,
2016
Humidity Is Wrecking Hair
Tags hair, humid, bad hair day
Transcript
Alice: The humidity is wrecking my hair. Please don't stare. Dilbert: I can't promise that. Alice: You're staring! Dilbert: I'm afraid to turn my back on it.
Saturday November 05,
2016
Tina Gives Buy In
Tags negotiation, money, price, cost, value
Transcript
Dilbert: I need everyone's buy-in on my project. Tina: You can have my buy-in for $25. Dilbert: Ted only charged me $15. Tina: It isn't my fault that Ted is a bad negotiator.
Wednesday October 26,
2016
Sales Is Blaming Marketing
Tags sales, responsibility, blame, business
Transcript
Boss: Our salespeople are blaming Marketing for the low demand. Marketing is blaming Engineering for making a product no one wants. So I blamed our customers for misleading us about their needs. Asok: Now I don't feel so bad about our price-gouging.
Saturday October 22,
2016
How The File Was Sent
Tags communication, technology, text, app, email
Transcript
Dilbert: What's the URL for that site? Boss: I sent that to you last week. Dilbert: To which of my seven email addresses did you send it? Boss: Maybe I texted it to you. Dilbert: I have a bad feeling about this. Boss: Maybe I used Slack, or WhatsApp. Or I sent it to someone else.
Wednesday October 12,
2016
Internet Wants Ceo To Die
Tags anger, shame, unpopular, popularity, public relations, gawker
Transcript
CEO: The company we acquired is making us look bad. Dilbert: How bad? CEO: The internet is demanding that I drink poison and apologize to the world while I die. What should I do? Dilbert: Well, I'm no doctor, but I'd go with something fast-acting.
Tuesday October 11,
2016
Accidentally Buying A Tainted Company
Tags merger, acquisition, gawker, reputation, infamy
Transcript
CEO: I accidentally talked the board into buying a company that has a tainted reputation. Catbert: How bad is the taint? CEO: Imagine Hitler's unwashed socks. Catbert: That isn't so bad. CEO: I'm just getting started. Now imagine I make you eat those socks...
Sunday October 09,
2016
Tags insult, meeting, tardiness, punctual, badmouth, business
Transcript
Dilbert: It seems that everyone but Ted made it to this meeting. If we proceed without Ted, our decisions will be underinformed. If we try to reschedule a meeting with all of us, we will miss the critical deadline. Thanks to Ted, we have two ways to lose and no way to win. I say we use this time to say bad things about Ted to make ourselves feel better. I'll start. Ted is a lazy, selfish loser, If I could travel through time, I would prevent Ted's parents from meeting. Don't look at me like I'm the one who came late.
Sunday October 02,
2016
Tags correction, correcting, freak out, anger, tress, Advice, eavesdropping, awkward, temper
Transcript
Man: What's the best way to invest these days? Boss: Penny stocks are the best value because they only cost a penny. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! I hate over hearing bad advice! Boss: If I were you, I"d take out a second mortgage and load up. Dilbert; I don't want to get involved, but I'll feel bad if I don't. Boss: You'll get reliable stock-picking advice from strangers on television. Dilbert: Run! Cover your ears and run! If it makes you feel any less awkward, I don't now what to do now, either.
Tuesday September 27,
2016
Boss Decision Making
Tags decisions, thinking, stress, hunger, fitbit, health tracker, health
Transcript
Dilbert: I hacked into your fitness band and analyzed your decision-making under different conditions. When you are hungry, tired, or stressed, you make terrible decisions. Boss: How often is that? Dilbert: Only when you're awake.