Better Luck Comic Strips - Page 13

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569 Results for Better Luck

View 121 - 130 results for better luck comic strips. Discover the best "Better Luck" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 22, 2014's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #travel budget freeze, #technical problems, #fiancail targets, #satisfying customers, #sounds bad, #said outloud, #business

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Dilbert: I need an exception to the travel budget freeze so I can fix an important customer's technical problem. Boss: No, because arbitrary financial targets are more important than satisfying customers. Wait... why does that sound bad when I say it out lout? Dilbert: If it makes you feel better, I wasn't listening.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 2014's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #executives, #work ethic, #acting ceo, #murder employees, #start up, #unprofitable, #ridiculous jargon, #wishful thinking, #luck, #show off, #management fad

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CEO: I heard that while you were acting CEO you... murdered nine employees, bought an unprofitable start-up and embraced a new management fad that is nothing but ridiculous jargon and wishful thinking. No one likes a show-off. Boss: I swear it was just luck.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 07, 2014's comic on:


Tags #anger, #interrupting work, #jargon, #meeting with boss, #not enough passion, #stupid trendy, #performance evaluation

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Boss: You don't show enough passion for your job. Dilbert: Stop interrupting my work with your stupid, trendy management jargon! Was that better or worse? I don't know how to tell.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 2014's comic on:


Tags #bodily fluids, #buggy, #ceo reputation, #competitors, #death, #medical, #misleading ads, #not selling, #overriced, #owls, #pal costume, #product failure, #product name, #super yacht, #vaguely racist

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Boss: We need to figure out why our new product isn't selling well. Dilbert: It's buggy and overpriced. Wally: OUr competitors sell a far better product at half the price. Asok: Our ads are overtly misleading and vaguely racist. Alice: Our product name reminds people of bodily fluids and death. People hate us because our CEO has an endangered owl shooting range on his super yacht. Boss: Does anyone have an idea to fix all of that? Wally: Maybe. Do you own an owl costume?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 03, 2014's comic on:


Tags #avoiding, #employees, #frustration, #managers & supervisors, #nothing going right, #avoid, #business

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Boss: Uh-oh. Alice: Guess what's going right for me today. Nothing!!! Boss: I usually do a better job of avoiding them when they have problems.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 2014's comic on:


Tags #choosing, #thinking, #tests, #orange buttons, #more clicks, #than green, #lost faith, #human intelligence, #green looks better, #liberated, #tyranny of thinking

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Dilbert: Our A-B tests show that orange buttons get 13% more clicks than green. I have now officially lost all faith in human intelligence. Boss: Stick with the green. It looks better. Dilbert: Sure. I feel liberated from the tyranny of thinking.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 2014's comic on:


Tags #employees, #optimism, #flattened management structure, #uptick in fork attacks, #insider trading, #benefits, #stock portfolio up, #sciatica better, #business

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CEO: How's our new flattened management structure working out? Boss: I'm seeing an uptick in fork attacks and insider trading. CEO: Now tell me the benefits. Boss: My sciatica no longer hurts. And my stock portfolio is way up.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 17, 2014's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #sleeping & waking up, #get up at 4am, #successful people do, #power nap, #sound sbetter, #than looks, #business

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Boss: I got up at 4 a.m. because I heard it's what successful people do. Power nap! Wally: This sort of thing always sounds better than it looks.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 13, 2014's comic on:


Tags #deception, #language, #managers & supervisors, #key to leadership, #vague golas, #jargon, #wishful thinking, #dumping work, #whine about goals, #better system, #business

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Boss: The key to leadership is setting vague goals that are a combination of jargon and wishful thinking. That way, I can keep dumping work on you without hearing you whine that it doesn't fit with your goals. You have to admit, my system is better than whatever you're doing over there. Dilbert: Yup.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 24, 2013's comic on:


Tags #discussion, #meetings, #drink coffee, #decisons, #wise

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Boss: Let's drink coffee together while I say wise things about business. Wally: Nothing would make us happier. Dilbert: Whataya got? Boss: The only reason to have meetings is to make decisions. Wally: That sounded very wise. Dilbert: Totally. Boss: I know. I"m kind of proud of that one. Wally: So what happens when you get in a meeting and realize you don't have all of the information you need to make a decision? Boss: This works better if you two don't talk.