Ceo Comic Strips - Page 13

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627 Results for Ceo

View 121 - 130 results for ceo comic strips. Discover the best "Ceo" comics from Dilbert.com.

Block Of Wood Is In A Bad Mood

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Block Of Wood Is In A Bad Mood  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ai, artificial intelligence, scam, gullible, emotions, deception

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CEO: I heard you invented a device with human intelligence and human emotions. Can I ask it a question? Wally: It's in a bad mood. It's not talking. CEO: Wow! It's just like people! Wally: You'd better leave before you make it cry.

Twitter Complaints

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Twitter Complaints - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags customer servie, customer support, trolling, social media, popularity, technology

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Dilbert: We're getting a lot of product complaints on Twitter. Boss: Tell those trolls to shut up and leave us alone. Dilbert: Uh... okay. CEO: Why did our stock just drop to zero? Boss: Sounds like a seasonal thing.

Self Empowered Week

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Self Empowered Week - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags honesty, aspirations, work ethic, standards, guest artist, jake tapper

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CEO: I want all of you to be creative, self-empowered, and accountable. Wally: If I could do any of that stuff, why would I work here? I just find the whole thing confusing.

It's Hard To Be A Misunderstood Genius

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It's Hard To Be A Misunderstood Genius - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags genius, intelligence, misunderstood

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Wally: It's hard to be a misunderstood genius. CEO: I have no idea what you're talking about. Wally: See?

Government Wants Access To Data

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Government Wants Access To Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags national security, privacy, technology, big business, terrorism

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CEO: The government wants us to make software that can unlock the encrypted data of our users. Either we choose privacy or national security. Should we betray our customers or should we enable terrorists? Figure out which one is more profitable and get back to me. Boss: On it.

Asok's Legacy

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Asok's Legacy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags judge, judging, overshare, sharing, socks, guest artist, donna oatney, legal

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CEO: Do you ever worry about your legacy? Asok: I worry about someone finding out my socks are so worn out that all I have left are the ankle parts. CEO: Well, that's enough about you.

Fifty Slide Presentation

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Fifty Slide Presentation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers, tasks, presentation, expectation, unrealistic, obliviousness

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Boss: Our CEO wants me to make a fifty-slide presentation for him that will motivate employees. Dilbert: Ha ha! Now you know how we feel when you ask us to do ridiculous things. Boss: Anyway, I don't have time, so I need you to do it for me.

Try Not Being Boring

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Try Not Being Boring - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags motivation, inspiration, frustration, bored, boring, powerpoint, meeting, obliviousness, eric scott, business

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CEO: I don't think my motivational messages are getting through to the employees. I can't make them pay attention to anything. Catbert: Have you tried not being boring? CEO: Good idea. I'll make fifty slides of pure excitement.

When Does The Motivation Start

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When Does The Motivation Start - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags effective, effectiveness, executives, motivation, eric scott

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Dilbert: In the meeting, you said you are the best at motivating. I was wondering when you plan to start, because I could use some motivation. CEO: I've been doing it for five years. Dilbert: At work?

Being The Best

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Being The Best - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, failure, guest artist, motivation, pep talk, success, john glynn

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CEO: The secret to success is finding one thing at which you can be the best. Dilbert: What are you the best at? CEO: I'm the best at motivating people. Dilbert: Yay! I can't wait for that to start.