Ceo Comic Strips - Page 13
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627 Results for Ceo
View 121 - 130 results for ceo comic strips. Discover the best "Ceo" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday June 23,
2016
Block Of Wood Is In A Bad Mood
Tags ai, artificial intelligence, scam, gullible, emotions, deception
Transcript
CEO: I heard you invented a device with human intelligence and human emotions. Can I ask it a question? Wally: It's in a bad mood. It's not talking. CEO: Wow! It's just like people! Wally: You'd better leave before you make it cry.
Monday June 13,
2016
Twitter Complaints
Tags customer servie, customer support, trolling, social media, popularity, technology
Transcript
Dilbert: We're getting a lot of product complaints on Twitter. Boss: Tell those trolls to shut up and leave us alone. Dilbert: Uh... okay. CEO: Why did our stock just drop to zero? Boss: Sounds like a seasonal thing.
Monday May 23,
2016
Self Empowered Week
Tags honesty, aspirations, work ethic, standards, guest artist, jake tapper
Transcript
CEO: I want all of you to be creative, self-empowered, and accountable. Wally: If I could do any of that stuff, why would I work here? I just find the whole thing confusing.
Saturday May 14,
2016
It's Hard To Be A Misunderstood Genius
Tags genius, intelligence, misunderstood
Transcript
Wally: It's hard to be a misunderstood genius. CEO: I have no idea what you're talking about. Wally: See?
Monday April 18,
2016
Government Wants Access To Data
Tags national security, privacy, technology, big business, terrorism
Transcript
CEO: The government wants us to make software that can unlock the encrypted data of our users. Either we choose privacy or national security. Should we betray our customers or should we enable terrorists? Figure out which one is more profitable and get back to me. Boss: On it.
Tuesday March 29,
2016
Asok's Legacy
Tags judge, judging, overshare, sharing, socks, guest artist, donna oatney, legal
Transcript
CEO: Do you ever worry about your legacy? Asok: I worry about someone finding out my socks are so worn out that all I have left are the ankle parts. CEO: Well, that's enough about you.
Wednesday March 09,
2016
Fifty Slide Presentation
Tags managers, tasks, presentation, expectation, unrealistic, obliviousness
Transcript
Boss: Our CEO wants me to make a fifty-slide presentation for him that will motivate employees. Dilbert: Ha ha! Now you know how we feel when you ask us to do ridiculous things. Boss: Anyway, I don't have time, so I need you to do it for me.
Tuesday March 08,
2016
Try Not Being Boring
Tags motivation, inspiration, frustration, bored, boring, powerpoint, meeting, obliviousness, eric scott, business
Transcript
CEO: I don't think my motivational messages are getting through to the employees. I can't make them pay attention to anything. Catbert: Have you tried not being boring? CEO: Good idea. I'll make fifty slides of pure excitement.
Monday March 07,
2016
When Does The Motivation Start
Tags effective, effectiveness, executives, motivation, eric scott
Transcript
Dilbert: In the meeting, you said you are the best at motivating. I was wondering when you plan to start, because I could use some motivation. CEO: I've been doing it for five years. Dilbert: At work?
Saturday March 05,
2016
Being The Best
Tags Advice, failure, guest artist, motivation, pep talk, success, john glynn
Transcript
CEO: The secret to success is finding one thing at which you can be the best. Dilbert: What are you the best at? CEO: I'm the best at motivating people. Dilbert: Yay! I can't wait for that to start.

