Competitor From Future Comic Strips - Page 13
135 Results for Competitor From Future
View 121 - 130 results for competitor from future comic strips. Discover the best "Competitor From Future" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share March 29, 1995's comic on:
The Boss stands outside a row of cubicles. Wally peeks out of his cubicle and Dilbert stands in the door of his cubicle. The Boss says to Dilbert, "Our Elbonian owners sold the company to our biggest competitor." The Boss continues, "Our motto is 'If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.'" Dilbert says, "I wonder what THEIR motto is." The Boss says, "Their motto is 'After you beat 'em, humiliate 'em.'" Dilbert says, "It's not very catchy."
Share February 13, 1995's comic on:
The Boss hands Dilbert a document and says, "I'm asking everybody to quantify their contributions to revenue. Your pay will depend on it." The Boss continues, "I realize this is hard to quantify because you're designing future products but . . . " Dilbert writes a figure on the paper and says, "Here you go." The Boss reads what Dilbert wrote and says, "A billion dollars? It's as if you cynically believe we can't track these numbers." Dilbert replies, "That crossed my mind."
Share October 14, 1994's comic on:
Dogbert: "I can predict the future by assuming that money and male hormones are the driving forces for new technology." "Therefore, when virtual reality gets cheaper than dating, society is doomed." "Year 2004" Date: "Is Dilbert available?" DOgbert: "He's been in the holodeck since March."
Share October 11, 1994's comic on:
Dogbert: I'm writing a book of my guesses about future trends. If it gets published then my guesses will seem more valid than other peoples. I'll charge huge fees to share my 'vision" with audiences. Dilbert: Why would people pay huge fees for guesses? Dogbert: Trend number one is that people aren't getting any smarter.
Share January 14, 1994's comic on:
Dogbert: Invest you money in my reincarnation fund and you'll be rich in a future life. Man: But I a rich in this life, for I have love in my heart and music in my soul. So, can you help me push my van home? Dogbert: It looks like you'll also have sharp pain in your muscles.
Share December 19, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert kneels in front of a machine. He tells Dogbert, "My time machine is complete." Dogbert says, "I guess you'll be off to explore exotic and fascinating civilizations." Dilbert asks, "Why would anybody want to do that?" Dogbert replies, "Beats me." Dilbert says, "My plan is to send all of our trash to ourselves twenty years from now. We'll have much better recycling methods by then." Dilbert puts a bag of trash into the time machine and says, "I wonder what elegant methods we'll have for recycling in the future." Dilbert continues, "I bet we'll have a way that's quick and efficient and . . ." Dogbert asks, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Dilbert says, "Uh-oh." They hear a "ping." Dilbert and Dogbert stand among several bags of trash. Dilbert says, "We would send it back in time and wait for it to decompose." Dogbert says, "I hate us."
Share September 28, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his desk. A man asks, "Have I told you recently that I have a lucrative job offer from our competitor?" Dilbert replies, "Yes." The man continues, "The pay is obscene, they wear casual clothes at work, and Wednesday through Friday is free beer and pizza." The man continues, "As the new guy I get to date the masseuse until the company matches me with an attractive co-worker." Dilbert covers his eyes and sobs.
Share September 19, 1993's comic on:
The Boss tells Wally and Dilbert, "I just arranged to have my body cryogenically frozen before my death." The Boss continues, "In a hundred years I'll be revived and cured. That way, future generations will get the benefits of knowing me." Wally says, "I hope you have a good warm coat." The Boss asks, "Coat? Nobody said anything about needing a coat." Wally explains, "Obviously you need a coat. It's freezing in that cryogenic chamber. You'd better wear long underwear too." Wally continues, "Don't let then tell you otherwise. Remember, the customer is always right!" The Boss walks away thinking, "I want a space heater in there too!" Dilbert tells Wally, "That wasn't nice." Wally replies, "I did it for future generations."
Share April 19, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss says, "The local school wants somebody to talk to the kids about a career as an engineer." The Boss giggles as he says, "I'm giving this plum assignment to you because you're such a good role model." Dilbert says, "It's more sincere sounding when you don't giggle." The Boss says, "Remember, children are our future!"
Share December 17, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert sits across from a customer's desk wearing a suit and carrying a briefcase. The customer says, "Your competitor was here an hour ago . . ." The man points to a woman holding a towel and massage oil and says, "He promised me a massage from Helga if I buy from his company. What's your offer?" Dilbert replies, "I'll give you my house for Helga." The man says, "You're new at this . . ."