Customer Servie Comic Strips - Page 13

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205 Results for Customer Servie

View 121 - 130 results for customer servie comic strips. Discover the best "Customer Servie" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 2002's comic on:


Tags #meeting with favorites, #management perspective, #top priority, #price, #service, #circles are round, #flew in, #ate up time, #stole a day, #revenge

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The Boss walks into a meeting and says, "Hey, it's a meeting with our favorite customers!" The Boss continues, "It's lucky I was passing by." The Boss continues, "I don't know what this meeting is about but I'm sure it needs some management perspective." The Boss continues, "Our top priority is quality. Our other top priority is price.. and service.. and ..." Headline: One Hour Later. The Boss concludes, "And that's why circles are round." The customer looks at her watch and says, "We flew here for this meeting and you used up all of our time saying nothing." The customer stands up and exclaims, "You stole a day of my life! I will hunt you to the end of time! Revenge will be mine!" The Boss and Dilbert are alone in the conference room. The Boss says, "Is it just me or is that phrase starting to be overused?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 2002's comic on:


Tags #dogbert tech support., #personal computer, #defective, #attractive package

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Dogbert Tech Support. Dogbert says into his telephone headset, "It works fine on my machine." On the other end of the line, the customer says, "Yes, but this call is about MY PC. May we talk about MY problem now?" Dogbert replies, "Okay, your PC is defective and you're selfish. That's an attractive package you've got going there."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 24, 2002's comic on:


Tags #bad management, #company dying, #customer centric, #four small groups, #participation, #skits, #electricity

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The Boss addresses a meeting, "Our company is dying.. but not because of bad management." The Boss continues, "It's because we're not.." He points to a slide that says, "Customer centric." Wally raises his hand and says, "Well, I for one feel better knowing we have correctly identified the problem." Wally turns to Dilbert and says, "That was a little thing I call participation; you should try it." The Boss says, "Now let's break into four small working groups." The Boss continues, "And develop skits based on our new focus of customer centricity." Dilbert says, "Um.. there are only four of us." He pauses and then says, "Wait.. nevermind." The Boss sits at the conference table alone and thinks, "I'll call my skit 'The Electricity of Customer Centricity."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 20, 2002's comic on:


Tags #nuclear power plant, #our process, #gather customer requirements, #free electricity, #mutating, #xray vision

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Dilbert says to Wally and Asok, "None of us has designed a nuclear power plant before but we can figure it out by using our process." Dilbert continues, "In phase one we will gather customer requirements." Asok is meeting with a customer. Asok says, "So.. you want free electricity without mutating, unless the mutation gives you X-Ray vision." The customer responds, "Yep."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 2002's comic on:


Tags #dilbert sales guy, #Card, #no correct info, #new ones, #costs money, #clout, #company, #buy something, #business

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Headline: Dilbert the Sales Guy. Dilbert hands a customer his card and says, "Here's my card. None of this information is correct." The customer asks, "Why don't you get new ones?" Dilbert responds, "That costs money." The customer adds, "You must have a lot of clout in your company." Dilbert responds, "Shut up and buy something."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 21, 2002's comic on:


Tags #change your mind, #sales + talk= stalk, #sales guy, #new position, #not good, #Dilbert

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Headline: Dilbert the Sales Guy. Dilbert is meeting with a customer. He says, "I'll talk to you every day to see if you change your mind." The customer replies, "Don't talk to me every day." Dilbert says, "You might change your mind." Dilbert comes home and says to Dogbert, "Did you know that if you cross 'sales' with 'talk' you get 'stalk?'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 19, 2002's comic on:


Tags #sales training, #sell to customer, #dare to be great, #prove worthiness, #beg

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Headline: Sales Training. The speaker says, "Never sell to your customer. Make your customer sell to you." The speaker continues, "Our products are only for those who dare to be great! Make the customer explain why he is worthy." Dilbert is meeting with a customer. Dilbert says, "You heard me, Goober. Now beg for our product."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 2002's comic on:


Tags #dilbert as waiter, #hots on customer, #insults customer, #specials, #rude, #age

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Dilbert is waiting on a table. He says to the customer, "I'll be your server tonight... Whoa, you're beautiful." Dilbert continues, "Would your grandfather mind if I asked you out?" The customer replies, "He's my husband." Dilbert turns to the older man and says, "Moving right along, would you like to hear about our specials?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 2002's comic on:


Tags #server job, #abusive customer, #kindness, #tablecloth

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The manager is slapping a drunk. Dilbert says to her, "Hi. I came to apply for a server job." The manager replies, "Okay. Tell me how you would handle an abusive drunken customer like this guy." Dilbert replies, "Um.. with kindness?" The manager says, "You might want to shield yourself with a tablecloth."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 27, 2001's comic on:


Tags #dogcart airplines, #flight exits, #35 hours, #flight delayed, #weather, #direct sunlight

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Headline: Dogbert Airlines. A disheveled customer says to Dogbert, "I've been waiting for 35 hours. Are you sure my flight exists?" Dogbert responds, "According to my computer your flight is delayed by weather." The customer asks, "What kind of weather?" Dogbert responds, "Our planes can't handle direct sunlight."