Eat Card Comic Strips - Page 13

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

260 Results for Eat Card

View 121 - 130 results for eat card comic strips. Discover the best "Eat Card" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #eat, #headquarters, #misunderstand, #mouth, #need shreded, #shredder

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: all shredders are nbeing centralized at our corporate headquarters. If you need something shredded, give it to ask. Dilbert: dude, I think he meant you would take it to the shredders. Asok: mouth....so...dry

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #health, #life expectency, #current workload, #two peoples jobs, #six months, #five months, #shop, #Card

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is sitting at his computer. He points to the screen and says to Dogbert, "I calculated the impact of work on my health and life expectancy." Dilbert continues, "At my current workload, doing two people's jobs, I have... six months to live." Dogbert responds, "Remind me in five and a half months so I can shop for a card."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #eat lunch, #few typos, #launch prodcut, #new prodcut, #other thing, #marketing, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally is sleeping on his keyboard. His computer makes noises, "Click Click Send." Headline: Marketing. An employee in the marketing department says to his coworker, "Someone named Wally is telling us to launch the new product." The employee continues, "Or it might say to eat lunch with a penguin. It has a few typos." The coworker replies, "I already ate, so let's do the other thing."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #donuts, #eat nit wit, #nitwit, #ogre, #poor guy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is meeting with two managers, an ogre and a nitwit. Dilbert says, "Our project team is composed of a nitwit, an ogre, and a #$&%!" The nitwit asks, "Which one of them is a nitwit?" The ogre raises his hand and says, "You didn't bring donuts. May I eat the nitwit?" Dilbert responds, "Yes." The nitwit says, "Poor guy."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #not allowed to eat, #work cubicles, #gulp, #chomp chomp, #ignores rules, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert enters Alice's cubicle and says, "Alice, employees are not allowed to eat in cubicles." Alice stuffs the food in her mouth, "Chomp chomp chomp" Catbert exclaims, "I'm going to see that every time I close my eyes!" Alice responds, "You started it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frequent grocery club, #memebership, #Card, #engineer spittle, #carry card, #inconvienced, #junk mail list, #charge me same

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is at the checkout line of a supermarket. The cashier asks him, "Are you a member of our frequent grocery club?" Dilbert responds, "No, what is it?" The cashier replies, "You get a membership card that entitles you to discounts." Dilbert says, "Let's see if I have this straight..." Dilbert continues, "I'll be inconvenienced by having to fill out a form and carry your stupid card around..." Dilbert continues, "And in return, you'll put me on a junk mail list, and charge me the same as the grocery store across the street?" Dilbert yells, "AND YOU EXPECT ME TO BE HAPPY ABOUT IT?!!" The customer in line behind Dilbert says, "But it's free!" The cashier says into the intercom, "Cleanup on register two.. it's engineer spittle."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lunch, #outrage, #stealing free time, #wind beneath my wings, #work during lunch, #working lunch

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally is in his cubicle. Asok approaches and exclaims, "This is an outrage!" Wally asks, "What?" Asok raises his arms and yells, "The so-called 'Working Lunch' tomorrow!" Asok continues, "They're stealing the only free time I have during the day!" Asok continues, "They give us some lousy sandwiches and expect us to work during lunch! Bah!" Asok exclaims, "IS NOTHING SACRED?!!" Asok asks Wally, "Why doesn't this bother you?" Wally responds, "I plan to eat their sandwiches and go to lunch after the meeting." Asok halts and says, "I... I can actually feel the wind beneath my wings!" Wally responds, "Sorry."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #key card, #tailgate, #network password, #voicemail, #stop working

View Transcript

Transcript

An employee says, "What a day I'm having. First my key card doesn't work, so I have to tailgate into the building." The employee continues, "Then my network password doesn't work. Now my voicemail doesn't work!" The Boss grins as the employee continues, "Is it possible for anything else to stop working today?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dilbert sales guy, #Card, #no correct info, #new ones, #costs money, #clout, #company, #buy something, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Dilbert the Sales Guy. Dilbert hands a customer his card and says, "Here's my card. None of this information is correct." The customer asks, "Why don't you get new ones?" Dilbert responds, "That costs money." The customer adds, "You must have a lot of clout in your company." Dilbert responds, "Shut up and buy something."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #eat for a day, #fish, #ugly hat, #you're consultant, #animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Dogbert Consults. Dogbert says to The Boss, "If you give a man a fish, he will eat for a day." Dogbert continues, "But if you teach a man to fish, he will buy an ugly hat." Dogbert continues, "And if you talk about fish to a starving man then you're a consultant."