Emperor Has No Clothes Comic Strips - Page 13
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1000 Results for Emperor Has No Clothes
View 121 - 130 results for emperor has no clothes comic strips. Discover the best "Emperor Has No Clothes" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday December 30,
2017
The Problem Is Humans
Tags culture, consultant, human nature, company culture, business
Transcript
Boss: Our consultant has studied our corporate culture and isolated the problem. Dogbert: The problem is humans. You're all selfish, rotten liars. Boss: What kind of team-building exercise will fix that? Dogbert: I'd try something involving DNA and alien technology.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday December 23,
2017
Homeland Security Risk
Tags homeland security, awareness, consciousness, terrorism
Transcript
Agent: Homeland Security has identified you as a risk of being radicalized online. Dilbert: Is it because I'm a single male, I hate my job, and no one loves me? Agent: We didn't know about that stuff. Now I have to call in a drone strike.
Sunday December 17,
2017
Tags laziness, accomplishment, narcissist, narcissism, review, firing, excuse
Transcript
Narrator: The Underperforming Narcissist. Boss: Topper, you've accomplished nothing this year. Topper: Are you kidding? I'm the greatest employee this world has ever seen! Boss: You have literally done nothing useful for a year. Topper: Don't be ridiculous. Everyone knows that "less is more." And I've done far less than anyone. Wally: Sorry I'm late. I thought I heard an animal trapped in my car's engine. Boss: Did you do less than Wally? Topper: Maybe we could continue this talk when he's not in the office. Wally: Any time before 11 a.m. is usually good.
Friday December 15,
2017
Doctor And Dopamine
Tags addiction, impulse control, social media, twitter, facebook, pharmaceuticals, drugs, gambling, technology
Transcript
Doctor: The MRI shows that your brain has been hijacked by dopamine pirates. You are now under the full control of social media corporations, gambling casinos, and big pharma. Boss: Are you writing me a prescription? Doctor: No, I'm buying stock in those companies.
Monday November 20,
2017
Wally Likes Sitting
Tags laziness, standing desk, health, sitting, standing
Transcript
Boss: The company has authorized the purchase of standing desks for employees who want them. Wally: Literally the only good thing about this job is that I can do it while sitting down. Boss: How did you get to this meeting? Wally: Your chair doesn't have wheels?
Thursday November 09,
2017
Wally Works On Stealth Clothing
Tags invisibility, attendance, deception, laziness
Transcript
Boss: We won a bid to design stealth clothing for the military. Wally: Ooh! Ooh! I volunteer to work on that project. Boss: Um... okay. Narrator: One month later. Boss: Your attendance has been poor lately. Wally: Here's where I teach you about "reasonable doubt."
Wednesday November 01,
2017
App For A Better Boss
Tags technology, invention, mind control, neural interface
Transcript
Dilbert: The neural interface is live. His brain is now communicating with his phone. Alice: He's sending me a brain-text. It says "Please help me. My phone has taken control of my body." Dilbert: It worked! Alice: Now we just need to write an app that makes him a better boss.
Friday October 27,
2017
Troll Has No Job
Tags troll, trolling, social media, twitter, tweet, time, technology
Transcript
Boss: This troll on twitter refuses to let me have the last word. What kind of job does this idiot have that he can do this all day long??? Give me a few minutes here. Wally: Take your time.
Monday October 23,
2017
Boss Gets A Troll
Tags troll, social media, trolling, insult, technology
Transcript
Boss: This idiot keeps insulting me on social media! Every time I block him, he returns with a new account. It's like he never has anything better to do. Dilbert: Do you have a new hobby? Wally: It's more like a passion.