Entire Budget Comic Strips - Page 13

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462 Results for Entire Budget

View 121 - 130 results for entire budget comic strips. Discover the best "Entire Budget" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #marketing, #meeting, #slides, #ad campaign, #baby, #hobos, #cool, #swear, #insult, #business

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Man says, "Our ad campaign will portray users of our competitor's products as baby-eating hobos." Man says, "While our users will be portrayed by the coolest guy in the entire world." Soon the meeting turned ugly Alice says, "Then why are you showing a slide of a giant @$$#%*?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cleaning, #janitor, #crime scene, #overalls, #assistant, #feet in air, #dead body, #mop, #duct tape

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Crime Scene Cleaning Dilbert says, "There's no budget for a mop or cleaning supplies." Dilbert says, "All I have is this pole and you." Ratbert says, "You could duct tape me to the pole." Dilbert says, "Yup. If we had duct tape."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #special project, #secret, #confidential, #dig grave, #shovel, #death, #medical

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The Boss says, "I need you to work on a highly confidential project." The Boss says, "When you're done, I want you to dig your own shallow grave and beat yourself to death with the shovel." Dilbert says, "Why does it feel as if my entire career has been preparation for this project?" The Boss says, "You're welcome."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #empire consultant, #crown, #king, #employees, #undproductive, #ineffecient, #brow, #windshield, #business

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Dogbert the empire consultant Dogbert says, "Make your employees less productive. That way your CEO will let you hire more of them." Dogbert sys, "Inefficiency is the same thing as leadership. A king needs an entire country just to wipe his?" The Boss says, "Brow?" Dogbert says, "I was going to say windshield." The Boss says, "Brow is catchier."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Opinion, #bad decision, #consistency, #coworker, #confused

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Coworker says, "Would you like my opinion on how you should handle that?" Dilbert says, "Sure, I'll just try to ignore the fact that your entire career has been a colorful tapestry of bad decisions." Coworker says, "So? yes?" Dilbert says, "I admire your consistency."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #presentation, #sales division, #freak out, #dehydrate, #water, #sweat, #public speaking, #scared, #dry, #skeleton

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The Boss says, "Alice, I need you to give a presentation to the entire sales division." Alice says, "GAAA!!! The very thought of public speaking dehydrates me!" The Boss thinks, "Maybe I should find someone moister."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pension fun, #rat, #dartboard, #garfield posters

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The Boss says, "Studies show that a rat with a dartboard can manage your pension fund as well as experts." Ratbert says, "I invested your entire pension fund in Garfield posters." Ratbert says, "I'm bad at darts."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mishear, #avoid work, #lazy, #no shame, #pour coffee, #budget estimate

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Dilbert says, "Rumor has it that you're pretending to hear things wrong to avoid work." Wally says, "It works great. The secret is to have no shame whatsoever." Coworker says, "Wally, do you have the revised budget estimate?" Wally says, "No, because you asked for a remized bugmet yestitet."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #second date, #first date, #links, #studies, #debunk beliefs, #feng shui, #homeopathy, #walk outside, #cellphone, #stomp, #angry, #sabotage, #romance

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Dilbert says, "After our first date, I pulled together some links to studies that debunk every belief you have." Dilbert says, "I alphabetized them. For example, here's Feng Shui, then homeopathy, then horoscope." Dilbert says, "That's okay. I always budget a little extra for second dates."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #raise, #face front, #budget, #better than nothing, #annoyed, #yell, #mouth open, #close eyes, #shake fist, #angry

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The Boss says, "If you help bring in a new account, I'll give you a raise, unless there's no money in the budget then for raises." Alice says, "Please don't say what I think you're going to say next." The Boss says, "It's better than nothing." Alice says, "No it isn't!"