Garbageman Advice Comic Strips - Page 13
214 Results for Garbageman Advice
View 121 - 130 results for garbageman advice comic strips. Discover the best "Garbageman Advice" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share March 14, 2007's comic on:
Financial Advisor Man: You've made a lot of money as a demotivational speaker. I recommend allocating 2% of it to me, and 98% to things that sound good if you don't look into them too closely. How about a managed stock fund with high churn and a big front-end load? Wally: Sounds good.
Share March 13, 2007's comic on:
Wally's keynote speech "The source of all unhappiness is other people." "The sooner you learn to think of other people as noisy furniture, the sooner you will be happy." "That's the stupidest advice I've ever heard!" "Hey, it's a talking ottoman! Hee-hee!"
Share January 10, 2007's comic on:
Dilbert: I'm a sales support engineer now. Can you teach me to be a good liar? Dogbert: Sure. Meet me on the porch, and don't wear a coat; the cold will help the learning. The first lesson is always the cruelest."
Share January 08, 2007's comic on:
Share May 08, 2006's comic on:
Dilbert: Now that I'm unemployed, I don't feel like a valuable member of society. GarbageMan: Consider this bag of garbage. It too is unemployed and yet it is worthy of love. Dilbert: I don't love it. Man: That's too bad because no one else will date you now.
Share November 28, 2005's comic on:
Share November 13, 2005's comic on:
"Remember to include my name on the patent application." "Why? You didn't help." "That's ridiculous! I've been helping you design that thing for months!" "I saved all three of your e-mails. Allow me to read them." "'Dude, is something wrong with your brain?'" "Later: 'Hey, Dilweed, maybe you should replace the backplane with a gizmo.'" "Then my personal favorite: 'Dilbag, I'm glad you took my advice to leave the backplane alone.'" "That's my way of helping." "It's great. You should patent it."
Share May 26, 2005's comic on:
Dilbert: "No one has any good advice on how I can balance my work with my personal life." Wally: "You didn't ask me." "I take the Zen approach of having no friends and doing no work. Hence, perfect balance." Dilbert: "Where did you get that definition of Zen?" wally: "I used to read, but it's faster to make up stuff."
Share March 11, 2005's comic on:
The Boss: "Our company will be relocating to a high-crime area for tax reasons." "Our CEO says don't worry about your safety because your limo can pull right into the underground parking garage." "Then he added, "Or chain your bicycle to a wino. Whatever."
Share January 02, 2005's comic on:
"The Weekly Wally Report is bristling with tales of success." "I gave worthless input to marketing because they weren't specific about what they wanted." "I missed Alice's project meeting because she never confirmed the location." "I gave harmful advice to the sales team because they rushed me." "I ignored my email for a week because you said to focus on priorities." "And I didn't submit my budget estimates because Asok never told me what format to ues." "How can you call any of that success??!!" "Well, I'd compare it to my written objectives, but you never gave me any."