Going Downhill Comic Strips - Page 13

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

556 Results for Going Downhill

View 121 - 130 results for going downhill comic strips. Discover the best "Going Downhill" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #flattery, #company, #boss, #flatter, #infinite people, #typewriter, #butter up, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Our company needs more people like you. Not just more. We need infinite people just like you. Boss: Where is this going? Wally: And if each of you hat a typewriter, wow!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cruelty, #inventions, #joking, #meat bags, #robot, #capability, #humor, #learn humor

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: Hey, meat-bags! I'm here to take your jobs! Ha ha! Not really. I won't have that capability for two or three years. Dilbert: When did you learn humor? Robot: Humor? I was going for cruelty.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #obliviousness, #innovation, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: How's the innovation going? Dilbert: Amazing. It couldn't be better. Right now it's all happening in my mind. Bit if any of it gets out, I'll let you know. Boss; I think's it's fair to say I managed the bejeezus out of that situation.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #punishment & torture, #punishment devices, #surveillance, #waterboard, #enjoy it, #not touched alot, #creepy, #turture techniques

View Transcript

Transcript

Abducted by the government NSA Agent: We're going to waterboard you now. Dilbert: Really? Cool. I don't get touched a lot, so I think I'll enjoy it. Is that all the water you brought? NSA Agent: Okay, this got creepy.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #colonoscopy, #government access, #joking, #preventive medicine, #records, #surveillance, #terrorists

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The government wants access to our customer records so they can look for terrorists. Boss: Fine. No problem. Dilbert; They also want you to get a colonoscopy and send them the video. Boss: Really? Dilbert: I'm going to say yes.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #apathy, #children & adults, #genetic makeup, #success, #upbringing, #warm thermos, #curious type, #mother, #coffee, #Family

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Do you think success is mostly a function of your genetic makeup or your upbringing? Wally: My mom raised me by putting a warm thermos of coffee in my crib and going out for the day. And I turned out great. Asok: I have no follow-up questions, in case you wondered. Wally: I'm not the curious type.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #competition (psychology), #elevators, #fear, #elevator, #confrontation, #threat, #ceo, #underling, #power tripping

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Here's the hotshot that everyone says will someday take my job. I'm going to mentor you so hard your intestines will end up in your skull. Wally: I just figured out why people use the stairs.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #apathy, #exercise & fitness, #beating the system, #exercising, #cubicle, #soul crushing work, #walker

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm beating the system by exercising in my cubicle. If I stay in good health during my forty years of soul-crushing work, I might enjoy a year or two of good health when I retire. Wally: This is why I don't have goals. Dilbert: I'm going to use my walker on your grave!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #interviews, #mental health, #creative, #adhd, #dyslexia, #bipolar, #schizophrenia, #creativity, #normal is boring, #turning tables, #job interview

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm looking for an employee who is creative. Interviewee: That's me. I have ADHD and dylsexia. I'm also bipolar and schizophrenic. Dilbert: Checking the Internet... Well... that's surprising. Each of his conditions is highly correlated with creativity. Interviewee: Are you a normal? Boss: I... think so. Interviewee: Wow. I feel sorry for you. It must be hard going through life without any creativity. Boss: What's happening here? Dilbert: It might be some sort of creative thing.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frustration, #questioning, #navigation button, #top of page, #idea people, #difficult, #people not answering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Would it be better with the navigation button at the top of the page? Coworker: I can make that change. Dilbert: I know you can make the change. I'm asking if you agree it would be a good idea. Coworker: It's no problem to move buttons. Dilbert: But is it a good idea? Coworker: I can have it done in ten minutes. Dilbert: But should we do it at all? Coworker: Whatever you want. Dilbert: That is not an answer! Forget it! I'm going to tell your boss you're difficult to work with. Asok: When will you move the button. Coworker: As soon as it's my idea.