Health Comic Strips - Page 13

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View 121 - 130 results for health comic strips. Discover the best "Health" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 13, 2002's comic on:


Tags #engineer of the year, #fly to ny, #receive trophy, #winners, #other companies, #critical time, #name someone lese, #sick day, #sleep, #bathe, #carol, #marketing, #upside awards, #on head, #health, #business

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The Boss says to Alice, "Alice, I'm naming you our company's 'Engineer of the Year.'" The Boss continues, "You'll fly to New York and receive a trophy with the winners from other companies." Alice replies, "I'm too busy. Name someone else." The Boss approaches Dilbert. Dilbert says, "That's a critical time for my project." The Boss approaches Asok. Asok says, "I'm flattered but I already have no time for sleeping or bathing." The Boss approaches Wally. Wally says, "I have a sick day scheduled for that Friday." The Boss says to Carol, "Carol, I need you to go to New York and pretend to be an engineer." Carol is standing with other guests at the award party. They have their awards on their heads; one is drinking from his. A guest says to Carol, "Why yes, most of us ARE really from marketing. How can you tell?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 17, 2001's comic on:


Tags #lives are pathetic, #eat, #work, #sleep, #finished lunch, #health

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Dilbert and Wally are at the coffee machine. Dilbert says to Wally, "Our lives are pathetic. We do nothing but eat, work, and sleep." Dilbert continues, "Eat, work, sleep...eat, work, sleep...eat, work, sleep." Wally responds, "Great - I just finished lunch and you're making me hungry!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 2001's comic on:


Tags #pristine beauty, #elbonia, #see first, #protestors, #stop drilling signs, #protesting drilling, #beauty, #health

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The boss is facing protesters who are carrying signs with a peace sign and a slogan, "Stop Drilling." A protester says, "You're ruining the pristine beauty of Elbonia!" The boss holds up a picture of a barren tree. The boss says, "This is a picture of pristine Elbonia." The protesters are putting the signs in the trunk of a car. A female protester says, "..And then you said, 'It doesn't matter if we see it first.' Then I said..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 06, 2001's comic on:


Tags #low battery indicator, #work day and night, #health decline, #other peoples problems, #creep likes

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The feature creep Creep: Is it too late to give our product a low battery indicator? Dilbert: Id have to work night and day for a month! My health would decline and Id miss all my objectives! Creep: I jus realized that other peoples problems make me all warm inside.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 08, 2000's comic on:


Tags #the inspirational ceo, #poor results, #engineers, #cause & effcet, #generate results, #pathetic losers, #losers, #energy, #squirming, #health

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The CEO is at a lecturn. The CEO says, "Our company is too good to have results this poor." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Question." The CEO thinks, "%#!* Engineers." The CEO says, "What?" Dilbert says, "Are you saying the laws of cause and effect do not apply?" Dilbert continues, "Logically, if we were good, we would generate good results." Sitting between the Wally and Alice, Dilbert continues, "Is it not more likely that we are pathetic losers who get exactly what we deserve?" The CEO says, "Yes, individually you're all losers. But together we're a great company. Thanks to my leadership." Wally says, "I feel like squirming but I don't have the energy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 1999's comic on:


Tags #care about you, #improve morale, #illegal, #health, #least possible way

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The boss, standing behind Alice sitting at her computer says, "Alice, I care about you..." The boss adds, "But only enough to improve your morale, not enough to be illegal in any way." The boss continues saying, "So, tell me about you health in the least specific way possible."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 24, 1999's comic on:


Tags #wavy pattern, #carpet, #dizzy, #home, #sleep, #groggy, #health

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Wally stands in front of the boss' desk and says, "The wavy pattern on the carpet is making me dizzy." Wally says, "I'd better go home and sleep it off." Wally says, "I'll be back tomorrow unless all the sleep makes me groggy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 03, 1999's comic on:


Tags #people fear public speaking, #fear death, #kill a guy, #scheduled to speak, #sleep, #threats, #dogcart threatens dilbert, #hints at death, #health

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the breakfast table. Dilbert has his lap top in front of him. Dogbert says, "They say people fear public speaking more than they fear death." Dogbert says, "So technically, if you kill a guy who's scheduled to speak, you're doing him a favor." Dogbert says, "When are you going to sleep." Dilbert says, "Never."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 1999's comic on:


Tags #venture capitalists, #web based business, #lazy, #dishonest, #create, #accounting irregularities, #energy, #health

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Wally walks into Dilbert's cubicle holding a huge bag of money. Wally has long hair pulled back into a ponytail. Wally says, "Venture capitalists gave me money to start a web-based business." Dilbert says, "Do they know that you're lazy and dishonest?" Wally says, "It didn't come up." Dilbert says, "What'll you create... besides accounting irregularities?" Wally says, "That's all I have the energy for."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 21, 1998's comic on:


Tags #supermodel, #trouble finding dates, #men are intimidated, #beauty, #computer skills, #system adminstartor, #health

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at Dilbert's computer at home. Dilbert says, "I'm chatting with a supermodel who has trouble finding dates." Dilbert says, "She says that men are intimidated by her beauty and her computer skills." Dilbert says, "Dang! The system administrator is making a move on her." Dogbert ears fly up. Dogbert says, "Type Faster!"